


Xena and Gabrielle: The Hogwarts Years (Book 2)

by cchufflepuff



Series: The Hogwarts Years [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship, Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2020-10-18 13:23:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20639873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cchufflepuff/pseuds/cchufflepuff
Summary: Quidditch, homework, and new professors. Another semester at Hogwarts begins, but an old enemy of Xena’s is determined to make it her last. Meanwhile, Gabrielle worries for her friend’s safety and struggles to break through the walls Xena has put up between them.Mature rating: due to depiction of suicide, more details inside





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: I have given this story a mature rating due to the presence of suicidal themes. The rest of the book will be more in line with a teen rated story and the mature themes will only comprise a small portion of the story, however if you are under 18 or feel you might potentially struggle with that type of content please strongly consider NOT reading. I’ve never written and shared this type of dark content before so I’m not sure if I handled it correctly and I’d much rather nobody reads this story than cause emotional distress for anyone.
> 
> For those of you who don’t feel you’ll be bothered with the darker content I will still indicate what chapter/s the suicide will occur/when it is referenced and provide a brief summary of the chapters in an A/N on the following page so you can skip those chapters if you want.
> 
> Do you need to read book one first?  
My goal is to make each story more or less standalone so that reading them all won't be imperative. It won't be entirely standalone, there will be certain plot points carrying throughout the series and the characters will be developing in different ways through each book, but the storylines should be more or less easy to follow without reading the previous ones, if I’m doing my job right (and feel free to indicate if anything is confusing!)
> 
> Will this story focus on the Xena/Gabrielle ship?  
Not yet guys, and I apologize for dragging it out so long. Book 3 is officially when that will be starting up. This book will be focusing on getting them to the point where I believe a romantic relationship makes the most sense for them, but won’t actually delve into one yet. Right now I have a long series planned and am trying not to make the character development feel too rushed/unrealistic.
> 
> Contact info: email cchufflepuff552@gmail.com; comment sections here on AO3; reddit u/cchufflepuff

A subtle breeze carried through the trees, bathing the woods in a protective armor that worked diligently to battle what was left of the summer heat. With the colder winds sweeping in the temperature was much tamer than Xena and Gabrielle had experienced in a long while, and the two friends took in the reprieve with an unspoken gratefulness.

It was near perfect weather for sitting around and writing a story, and one which Gabrielle was sure to take advantage. With the new journal Xena had given her as an early birthday present settled firmly in her hands Gabrielle was ready to recount their latest adventure together. She had no intention of letting the memory slip from her mind before she had it properly written out first.

“What are you writing about?” Xena asked after a while.

“Our trip to Sicily,” Gabrielle explained. “You know, I finally feel inspired. Like I might actually manage to write something that deserves more than to be tossed in the nearest fire and forgotten for all eternity.”

“You’ve written plenty this summer,” Xena said. “I’m sure it wasn’t all garbage.”

“True, but these past few days I've been feeling really off for some reason. Maybe it’s all the traveling we’ve been doing...or the weather. It’s been hotter than Hades out here, and that’s never good for keeping a clear head. Either way, I’m happy for the change," she said, suddenly cheerful. "And I have no intentions of wasting it.”

Xena offered another one of her infamous smirks and returned her attention to the chakram she was sharpening with a small stone. Gabrielle was constantly amazed at the depths of emotion her friend was able to convey through the use of a single facial expression. It seemed as if that was their primary mode of communication as of late, and Gabrielle was finally starting to master the art involved in understanding Xena and her wordless interactions, though she doubted she would ever master it completely.

Nonetheless Gabrielle wouldn’t have traded her summer with Xena for anything. There was something about spending time with the warrior that felt special, as if it was exactly where she was meant to be. 

_ Oooh that’s perfect, _Gabrielle thought suddenly. She returned to her spot on the page and began scribbling feverishly onto the parchment, her ink following a trail behind the careful movements of her fingers.

“Keep that up and there won’t be any parchment left,” Xena said.

“I have to write it down now. If I don’t I’ll never remember it in the sa - ow - what in Tartarus -” Gabrielle winced as she touched the spot where something hard had landed on her head. She glanced down as the culprit rolled into view, a small red apple with a particularly prominent bump jutting from the side. “It’s not funny Xena.”

“I wasn’t laughing.”

“But you had that look.”

“What look?”

Gabrielle returned to her journal and started scribbling some more. As she spoke her eyes didn’t leave the page, “you know, that look you get, the one that says _ you had it coming Gabrielle,” _she said in her best Xena impression. “I don’t know what I did to deserve a bruise on my head this time, but I’m sure you’ll think of a reason.” She glanced back at Xena who’d returned to her activities without making so much as a sound of acknowledgement, though Gabrielle suspected her attention hadn’t actually wavered and she was merely trying to make a point.

“Let me see that apple,” Xena said after a moment.

“You mean the one that, only seconds ago, came dangerously close to giving me a concussion? _ That _apple?” Gabrielle asked. 

“Yeah,” Xena said flatly. “Let me see it.”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes and tossed it over. “Don’t tell me you’re planning on eating it…you know Xena there are plenty of apples on this tree. You could have just as easily asked for another one.”

“It’s just a piece of fruit, Gabrielle. I doubt the apple had a personal vendetta against you.” Xena held the strangely misshapen fruit into the air, just high enough for the brown stallion in the distance to hobble over and take a large bite. Within seconds the apple was gone and nothing but a few bits of saliva dangling from the horse’s mouth gave any impression it had ever existed in the first place.

Argo started flapping angrily in her cage and Gabrielle reached over to comfort her. “It’s alright girl,” she said softly, but quickly moved her hand away when Argo’s beak went sailing towards her. There was no question that Argo had been acting more touchy than usual lately and Gabrielle wondered if her new string of violent behaviors didn’t have something to do with their new traveling companion, though it wasn't exactly unusual for Argo to reject Gabrielle's attempts towards building a stronger relationship between the two of them.

Much like Argo’s relationship with their new horse, Gabrielle wasn’t sure how to feel about the current state of her friendship with Xena. She felt closer to Xena than ever, yet in other ways she felt a growing distance between them. It was as if Xena had closed off a part of herself the moment Gabrielle died in the caves and was now stuck in a permanent state of worry, constantly afraid the same thing would happen again. As much as she tried Gabrielle couldn’t figure out how to convince Xena to really let her in, if it was even possible to do so, she wasn't so sure.

“First you spend the summer forcing me on just about every boat you can find, now you make fun of me,” Gabrielle said, hoping to maintain the lighter mood. “You know Xena, sometimes I think you like watching me suffer.”

“We went on three boats, Gabrielle.”

“And each one was just as torturous as the last. Between vomiting and worrying about that vision -” Gabrielle stopped suddenly. She had yet to tell Xena about the vision she’d seen when Atli attacked her in the cave. Truth be told she hoped the topic would never come up again. It wasn’t something she planned on revealing to Xena anytime in the near future. 

“What vision?” Xena asked. Her body had instantly tensed up.

“It’s nothing,” Gabrielle said.

“_Gabrielle _,” Xena urged with the same warning tone she’d heard a hundred times by now.

At this point it would have been pointless for Gabrielle to attempt any sort of lie as Xena would have seen right through it. “When Alti grabbed me in the cave I - well I saw something, like a vision maybe? I don’t know what it was but I felt like I was suddenly submerged in water, and then I couldn’t breathe. The whole thing just felt so real. I thought I was really drowning until all the pain suddenly stopped and when I awoke again, well...I was in the cave with you.”

“Gabrielle why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” Xena asked in exasperation.

“I didn’t know if it was real. I still don’t,” Gabrielle said. “And those pirates, that poor minotaur...they needed our help. I mean let’s face it Xena, you would’ve never let me on those boats if I’d told you.”

Xena was silent, anger clearly written on her face. Gabrielle was once again forced to wonder what was going through her mind.

“I know I should have said something after it happened -” Gabrielle started, but when Xena gave her the signal they weren’t alone she quieted down immediately. There was a moment’s silence before Xena finally spoke. 

“We were just talking about how much we’d love more company. Gets pretty lonely out here.” 

The men and women hiding behind the trees revealed themselves. Gabrielle recognized them immediately as part of Alti’s army. Of all the times they’d been ordered to attack Xena and Gabrielle over the summer, their faces were impossible to mistake now. And each battle ended the same way, although it was clear Alti had kept them under a rigorous training regimen. Their skills were improving but they had a long way to go before ever coming close to Xena’s level.

“The trees behind us are empty,” Xena whispered to Gabrielle.

“Come on Xena, they look as harmless as before,” Gabrielle whispered back. “I could help.”

She hated being shoved away all the time as much as she understood the reasoning behind it. After all the trainings they’d gone through Gabrielle felt she was more than capable of helping Xena out with the fighting. Not to mention all the times she’d watched Xena’s moves over and over. By now she had just about all of Xena’s fighting techniques memorized down to the precise movement, at least the ones she’d been able to witness. She knew, if given the chance, she could prove her worth as a witch and a fighter.

But Xena didn’t appear to agree with that sentiment as she shot Gabrielle another warning look. “Don’t argue with me Gabrielle. Get behind the trees. Now.”

Hesitating slightly, Gabrielle found the closest tree with the most sizable distance between herself and their attackers and waited for the rest of the events to unfold.

Gabrielle was used to watching most of Xena’s confrontations from a distance but the control Xena had over her emotions never ceased to amaze her. It was like nothing could scare her, or at least that’s the message she conveyed to everyone else. Gabrielle knew that wasn’t entirely true, but Xena hid it better than anyone Gabrielle had ever seen before.

“Let me guess, Alti sends her regards?” Xena asked.

“She wants us to bring your heart on a platter,” one of the women said.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I like my heart where it is.” Without having to put in much effort, Xena was able to knock the front row of people back. The ones who were left standing raised their wands. A few were able to throw some spells towards Xena, but she cast Protego and easily shielded herself from their attacks. A flurry of lights swirled around the woods as spells were thrown from all directions, but Xena once again parried them all, only a few were close enough to be threatening, and those were quickly tossed away by Xena’s defenses.

With no other way to help, Gabrielle carefully surveyed the area for any signs of danger. It wasn’t long before she noticed a small group of people who’d been hiding farther into the woods slowly creeping towards the battleground, undoubtedly planning a secret attack against Xena.

Gabrielle a sudden sense of panic take over. Xena always seemed to have an extra sense that allowed her to detect anyone trying to sneak past her, but what if she somehow missed them this time. What if she was so preoccupied with everyone else that was coming after her that she wouldn't see the others?

_Xena will kill me if I move from this spot, _Gabrielle thought. Besides surely Xena could fend them off. There was still a decent amount of people fighting, but she’d rendered at least two thirds of them unconscious at this point. _If anyone can handle this type of situation, it's Xena._

Then to Gabrielle’s surprise someone managed to cast just as Xena’s shield had dissipated, and the spell caught the side of her shoulder. It wasn’t strong enough to throw Xena to the ground but judging by the grimace on her face it had been painful, and Gabrielle couldn’t help but wonder if it would be just enough for the other people in the woods to sneak past her defenses.

Overtaken with the sudden fear, Gabrielle knew she never would have forgive herself if something happened to Xena when she could have done something to help, no matter how much Xena didn’t want her involved. She raced out from behind the trees and prepared to make her first move against them. _Please, by all the Gods, don't let me screw this up._


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m telling you Xena - I’m fine,” Gabrielle said impatiently as Xena began searching for injuries. She squirmed uncomfortably on the large rock Xena had helped her to as if it were the last place she wanted to be, while Xena struggled to maintain the appearance of control despite the frantic racing of her heart, which hadn’t calmed since she spotted her friend lying motionless in the grass. For several horrifying seconds she thought she’d lost Gabrielle again and there would have been no magic ruby to bring her back this time. 

So far it didn’t appear Gabrielle had suffered anything more than a small bruise on the side where she’d been hit; no burns or broken bones. It was a good sign but there was no reason to celebrate just yet.

“Hold still,” Xena said as Gabrielle continued to fidget around. She sighed with disapproval but did as she was told.

“I appreciate the concern but don’t you think this is a little unnecessary?” Gabrielle asked as Xena glanced over her ankles to check for swelling. “I thought Stupefy was one of the milder spells.”

“It is,” Xena said. “But I’d rather not take any chances. You’re certain it was Stupefy?”

Gabrielle nodded, suddenly uncomfortable. “Yeah. It all happened so fast, but I know that’s what I heard.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “It was painful at first but I don’t feel anything now - I mean if I did you’d be hearing all about it, don’t you think? When have you known me to hold back when there’s something to be said?” 

From Xena’s experience Gabrielle had never been much of a complainer. On occasion she would express her discomfort of certain things, especially when she was overtired from the day’s journey, but that was few and far between. Xena was impressed with how much of a trooper Gabrielle was in situations most would consider less than ideal. She was sure more than anything else that Gabrielle was attempting to lessen some of her frustrations, but instead it only made her frustrations grow stronger.

“You had no trouble keeping that vision to yourself,” Xena said. “Don’t think you’ve gotten away with that because our conversation was cut short.”

“I meant to tell you - I would have ages ago if only for - if only I had -” she stopped herself, suddenly flustered. “I just didn’t want you worrying when I wasn’t sure. “

“You didn’t want me to worry? Gabrielle, how do you think I’d have felt if you’d drowned?”

“I know but -”

“No buts, Gabrielle. I don’t want you hiding things from me, especially if it compromises your safety.” Xena took a deep breath. “I need to know about those things from now on, understand?”

Gabrielle nodded. “Alright. From now on I’m an open book, or journal, or whatever you wanna call it. I won’t keep anymore secrets from you.”

“Good,” Xena said.

The lack of any visible injury aside from the small bruise on her side was consistent with the type of casting Gabrielle had suspected, but something still made Xena feel uneasy. Nonetheless she brought the search to a close as there was no reason to continue it; nothing could be done to quiet the nagging voice in the back of her mind that told her she may have overlooked something - she needed to move forward. 

She rolled Gabrielle’s sleeve back, stopping suddenly as her eyes reached the dark red scar on her wrist. The large scar that to most people would appear as nothing more than a small colored tattoo but to Xena it served as a fateful reminder that she’d already gambled with Gabrielle’s life before, and she’d lost.

“This isn’t like last time,” Gabrielle said as she noticed Xena’s sudden interest in the marking. She placed a hand over Xena’s, but Xena moved it away quickly. Seeing the scar had caused her anger to resurface, as if she were experiencing the event that had caused it’s existence all over again. Now that she was certain Gabrielle was okay she needed to be sure she knew the severity of what she had done.

“What were you thinking running into the field?” Xena asked. “You know better than to charge into battle without the proper fighting experience.” 

“You were hit and I was afraid you wouldn’t see the men sneaking up on you,” Gabrielle explained, taken slightly off-guard by the sudden shift to anger.

“I saw them,” Xena said. “And even if I hadn’t, they wouldn’t have gotten very far.”

“So I’m not allowed to take risks to protect you but you’re allowed to take risks to protect me?” Gabrielle asked in disbelief “That isn’t fair Xena and you know it.”

“It is fair.” Gabrielle opened her mouth to protest but immediately closed it as Xena shot her a warning look. “From now on, you are to follow any orders I give you. No matter how badly you disagree with them.” When Gabrielle said nothing Xena spoke again with a much harsher tone. “Promise me.”

“Fine. I promise,” Gabrielle said, though something told Xena she had a lot more she wanted to say. “You have to promise me something too.”

“What’s that?”

“You can’t go around with serious injuries and shrug them off like they’re nothing. It’s not as if you’re invincible, Xena. As much as you like to think you are.”

Xena glanced at the shoulder wound in question which was throbbing with pain and beginning to develop a nasty coloring. If she wasn’t careful the injury would likely become infected and cause permanent damage to her body, but it was an easy fix. “It’s just a small burn. I’ll be fine.”

“That’s small?”

“A little sap root and sigma oil and it’ll be good as new,” Xena said. When Gabrielle didn’t look convinced she added, “I saw some not too far from here.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle said. “Let’s go get some.” Before she’d taken two steps forward Xena placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her in place.

“You’re staying here,” she said firmly.

Gabrielle’s eyes widened with surprise. “But Xena I -”

“Just while I collect a few things,” Xena said. “I’ll be right back.”

Truthfully, allowing Gabrielle to join her wouldn’t have made much difference, but she wasn’t in the mood to argue with Gabrielle any longer, which at this point only served to make her feel more irritated. As much as she didn’t want to make Gabrielle feel bad about what she had done Xena couldn’t risk the events ever repeating again, she needed to show her the importance of staying out of danger’s grip.

“Xena -” Gabrielle shook her head. “I know I made a mistake earlier but I won’t make it again. I’ll stay out of your way.”

“It’ll be faster on my own,” Xena said shortly. She grabbed the invisibility cloak and tossed it to Gabrielle, whose face had returned to a state of shock. “Keep the cloak on until I return.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It wasn’t long before Xena found the ingredients she was looking for, due in no small part to Lao Ma’s extensive teachings on plants with medicinal properties. They were close to where she had set up camp with Gabrielle and Xena had zero intentions of leaving her alone where she wasn’t close enough to reach her immediately if she called for help. She kept an eye on the surrounding area as she stirred the sap root and sigma oil together into a small paste to rub on her shoulder, then dressed the wound accordingly. Only moments had passed since she ventured out on her own, but she wasn’t ready to return to Gabrielle just yet.

Fortunately for Xena Alti’s followers were far from skilled at traveling without leaving at least the slightest trace behind them. It wasn’t long before she spotted their hideout; a small cave where a pile of leaves had haphazardly been thrown over the edges to create the appearance of an undisturbed piece of land, though Xena suspected the display wouldn’t have fooled many. It was even closer to the magical barrier Xena had cast around her campsite than she had anticipated, but there was no way they would attack so soon after being injured. Most of Xena’s attackers had returned to Alti with injuries that would likely keep them off their feet, at least for a little while.

Over the summer Xena and Gabrielle had been following Alti around to get a better idea of her plans. They’d nearly lost her trail when they went off on a side quest to retrieve the enchanted sand buried deep in lake Pergusa, which was said to have had a weakening effect on Katerina Taelamon according to _ The Dangers of Dark Magic: An Anthology _. Luckily locating their new hideout hadn’t been difficult for Xena then either, but it was still a risk she would never have taken had there been any other way of stopping Alti. 

After Xena finished surveying the rest of the area she decided to bathe Argo and Junior in the nearest pond, while continuing to keep an eye out for any potential dangers. Argo was never much for the bathing process, but today she seemed unusually content with the process.

“You’ll have to be strong for me,” Xena said as she found Argo’s favorite spot to be scratched. “And for Gabrielle.”

Junior, who seemed his usual chipper self, wandered over to Xena as well. She ran her fingers along his dark mane of hair as he nuzzled over. “Whaddaya say, is it time we headed back?”

Xena realized there was no sense drawing out the trip any longer even if she wasn’t entirely ready to return, she had at the very least managed to regain some emotional stability. She packed her belongings and headed back for Gabrielle, who greeted her immediately as she returned.

“Xena, thank the Gods. Did you find -” Xena reached for Gabrielle’s hand and stopped her from throwing the cloak off.

“You’ll need that.”

Xena could practically see the confused look on Gabrielle’s face as she asked, “why? What’s going on?”

“I know where Alti’s hiding,” Xena said. “I want to try something out.”

“The enchanted sand?”

Xena nodded. “We’ll finally know if it works.”

“Good idea. Should we wait for nightfall?”

Xena closed her eyes. She’d been dreading this part of the conversation for much of the summer. It was sure to go over badly, but it needed to be done. “I want you to go home. We’re close enough now where you should be able to find your way.”

“No - absolutely not!” Gabrielle’s voice had risen several octaves and the birds surrounding them startled away from the sudden rise in pitch and volume. “Xena you aren’t going after Alti on your own.”

“Gabrielle, keep your voice down,” Xena warned.

“Oh Gods, Xena I’m - I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s alright. We won’t be staying in this spot for much longer.”

“I know you’re angry about earlier, but please don’t punish me this way,” Gabrielle pleaded, her voice barely above a whisper now. “The idea of you going after Alti alone...I don’t like it Xena. It’s too dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine. If the enchanted sand works Alti should be weak enough for me to stop her once and for all,” Xena said.

“And if it doesn’t?”

“If it doesn’t I’ll get out of there,” Xena said in the most reassuring voice she could offer. “I won’t be taking on any more than I have to.”

“I don’t care, Xena. I’m not leaving you alone to handle this,” Gabrielle said angrily. “Please, I promise to do as you say. I’ve learned my lesson. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You don’t trust me to do as you say, well this isn’t the way to teach me Xena. ”

“It was always my plan for you to return to Potadeia,” she admitted. “I’ll be using a highly disciplined form of magic. I need to maintain complete focus for it to work properly. Having you here -”

“Would be a distraction…” Gabrielle finished.

Xena nodded. She knew if she had to worry about Gabrielle’s safety the entire plan would be compromised. It was better all around with Gabrielle home with her family, away from the danger. “I want more than anything for you to stay. But this could be our last chance to stop Alti.”

“I’ve lost so many people I care about, I don’t want to lose anyone else.” Xena could tell by the crack in her voice she was verging on tears. “Are you sure I can’t stay close by? You know, somewhere I’m not in the way but can hear if you call for help?”

Xena reached towards Gabrielle and placed a hand on both of her invisible shoulders. Her gaze fell where she was sure there were two worried eyes glancing up at her and she spoke with as much seriousness as she could offer, “you won’t lose me, Gabrielle. I promise.”

“How can you be so sure? I mean, Alti’s got the power of dark magic on her side.”

“As long as everything goes according to plan she’ll be too weak to use it.”

“Uh-huh, and how about that spell you’re using? The one that requires complete concentration. How do you know that won’t fail?”

“I’ve practiced it hundreds of times before.” Xena said. “Trust me Gabrielle. Nothing bad’s gonna happen to me.”

It was a while before Gabrielle finally responded and when she did it was clear she was never going to be happy with the idea. “I trust you, I just wish there was some other way...but I believe that you are being honest. If this is the only way then...I won’t stand in your way. Not when Alti’s freedom will put everyone’s life at risk.”

Xena reached down for Argo’s cage as Gabrielle filled a mostly empty flower sack with more of her belongings. Argo began to flap her wings as if to protest Xena’s idea as well, immediately latching onto Xena’s arm once she was free as if she were seeking a sense of comfort. “I want Argo to follow you home.”

“No Xena, you should be the one to keep her,” Gabrielle said, surprised by the request. “She isn’t going to be happy with me, and let’s face it you need her just as much as she needs you.”

“I’ll feel better knowing you have her protection,” Xena said.

“Are you sure? Xena I should be safe as long as I have the invisibility cloak. If nobody can see me I’ll be much harder to attack.”

Xena certainly didn’t like the idea of sending Gabrielle out alone - even if Argo wouldn’t be much help if Gabrielle got caught in an army of people, it was better than nothing. “I’ll be just fine.”

“Alright.” Gabrielle reached her hand out of the cloak to grab Argo’s cage. Within seconds the silver contraption had disappeared completely from view.

“Good. Just be sure to -” Xena stopped abruptly as she felt a strong force push against her. It was only seconds before she realized what the force was. “It’s going to be alright, Gabrielle.”

“I know, but I’m really going to miss you Xena,” Gabrielle said hugging her closer.

“It’s only a few days,” Xena said. “I’ll be back at Hogwarts before you know it.”

“You’d better be,” Gabrielle said. “Otherwise you’ll have me and an angry owl to deal with. We’ll be a lot scarier than anything Alti’s got to offer.”

“I’d better stick to my word then,” Xena said, allowing the slightest hint of a smile. “Come on. Let’s make sure you’ve got everything you need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long to post another chapter, my last semester took up more time than I ever would have expected. Hope everyone is doing well and I will do my best to actually get some chapters posted this semester (fingers crossed)!


	3. Chapter 3

The trek to Potadeia seemed to drag on endlessly as Gabrielle’s thoughts turned over and over in her head. She thought of turning back to help Xena at least a hundred times, and a few times she came within a Goddess’s hair of doing so. But she would always remind herself of how unlikely the scenario was where something could overtake her friend. Xena told her she would be safe and Gabrielle had to believe that, even if part of her wasn’t entirely convinced.

_ Xena’s the strongest, most intelligent person I know,  _ Gabrielle thought after a final argument with herself.  _ She knows if she gets killed, Alti may never be stopped. She would never risk that. _

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Gabrielle told her furry companion as she flapped gracefully from tree to tree. They had passed countless oaks on the way to Potadeia, and Argo seemed to be tiring of the constant flitting from one tree to the next.

Of course there was no response from the owl, nor did Gabrielle expect one, but talking to the small bird made Gabrielle feel slightly closer to achieving some sort of peace of mind, and she was willing to take anything she could get. Having Argo around was almost like having a part of Xena there with her, though it was nowhere near enough to make up for her absence, especially when Argo was struggling just as much as she was. Neither one of them were particularly happy being separated from Xena, but they continued forward for several candle marks until finally, after what felt like hours, they reached the outskirts of town.

“Well Argo, here we are. Home sweet home,” Gabrielle said as the edge of Potadeia’s opening fence slowly rose into view. Over a year had passed since she’d last stepped foot in the tiny farming village. It was a strange feeling, her time at Hogwarts, her time with Xena, they had become her new home, or at the very least, the place she most wanted to spend her time. Yet she was filled with an overwhelming feeling of familiarity as soon as she spotted the barricade of bricks outlining the entrance she had passed by so many times before. It almost felt as if she’d never left.

Gabrielle had never been too attached to her life as a farmgirl. She missed her family and had many pleasant memories where her time at Potadeia had been bearable, enjoyable even, but the mixture of unpleasant and mundane memories were enough to keep her from truly wishing she could return to the life she had before.

_ Maybe things have changed,  _ Gabrielle thought hopefully, though she realized the chances of that were slim as she neared the front entrance. The village had been lively many years ago when Gabrielle was very young, but over the years the vibrantly colorful town had slowly dwindled down to a drab and empty shell of what it once was; now there was nothing lively about the houses, which were covered in brown and yellowish windows and further marred by corroded wood paneling. Tables, pans, and old buckets were scattered haphazardly in yards, as if they had been abandoned in a hurry. 

For a moment, Gabrielle wondered if the town had been raided while she was gone. She’d spoken with her mother only days before, but that was more than enough time for thieves to ransack the area.

Gabrielle glanced around quickly, there didn’t appear to be anyone in sight and now she could feel herself starting to panic.  _ Oh Gods, what if something happened to them? What if I left them behind when they needed me the most? _

Gabrielle inhaled sharply as she finally spotted someone; a woman with dark red hair carrying a bucket of water down the roadway, her hair wrapped in a piece of old cloth. In desperate need for answers Gabrielle raced towards her.

“Anthea?”

The woman turned to face Gabrielle, the knot of fear in her stomach growing larger when she saw the ashen and mournful look on her face. Clearly something had happened while she was away. 

“Gabrielle. I didn’t realize you were back,” Anthea said slowly, as if it took great effort to say the words.

“What happened here? Have there been raiders?” Gabrielle asked quickly.

Anthea chuckled weakly, “just another bad harvest, what else?”

_ A bad harvest had caused this?  _ Gabrielle’s parents had never mentioned that in their letters to one another. It was another reason for Gabrielle to feel guilty about her decision to spend the summer away, but at least they hadn’t been attacked. It was enough for a sigh of relief, however small.

Gabrielle surveyed the area, “it looks so empty. Where is everyone?”

“Not much of us left,” Anthea said. “Most have moved on to find better land.”

_ How could so much change have happened over so little time?  _ Gabrielle thought, still unable to comprehend what was going on. “I don’t understand, we’ve gone through plenty of bad harvests before -”

“This was our worst yet, hardly a salvageable crop in sight,” Anthea explained. “Most of us couldn’t survive on the lack of income any longer.”

Gabrielle closed her eyes, afraid to ask the next question. “And my parents? Lila?”

“Last I heard they’d moved in with your grandfather…” she said, fostering whatever sympathy she could muster into her voice. “I’m sorry Gabrielle, I wish I could be of more help.”

“No that’s alright,” Gabrielle said. “It’s my fault really. They didn’t know if I’d be returning…I should have told them.”

Gabrielle had been planning at least one visit before heading back to Hogwarts with Xena, something she had been hoping to tell her stoic friend at some point, though it never seemed to be the right time. She wasn’t sure Xena would have liked the idea all that much, not to mention they hadn’t exactly been communicating all of their feelings to one another.

“Anthea, would you like some help carrying those buckets home?” Gabrielle asked. She wanted more than anything to find her family, but she knew it wouldn’t be fair to Anthea to ignore the struggle she was going through.

“That is very kind Gabrielle, but no amount of help in the world will fix things now,” Anthea said sadly. “Besides, best you find your family.”

Gabrielle tried not to look as relieved as she felt. “I’ll be off to Hogwarts in a few days time,” she said, “if you ever need somebody to talk to, send an owl.”

“I will certainly consider that, thank you,” Anthea said, forcing a small smile. Without another word she continued the path to her home, leaving Gabrielle with a new flurry of thoughts and feelings. She held Argo’s cage close and impatiently made her way to her grandfather’s home, hoping beyond all hope she would find her family there.

“Gabrielle? Oh Gabrielle you’re here!” 

Gabrielle whirled around to see a very familiar face staring at her in disbelief. 

“Mother?” Hecuba carefully placed the pails of water onto the ground as she accepted Gabrielle into her arms. Her hair was frizzy in several places, a trait she had passed down to both of her daughters, and her eyes matched the wild strands of blonde that puffed out all around her face. “Mother I’ve missed you so much!”

Suddenly Gabrielle’s thoughts and fears melted away as Hecuba hugged her tighter. “I wasn’t sure you were ever going to return. Now here you are.” Tears suddenly swelled in her eyes. “You look so much older - and wiser, by the Gods I can hardly believe it’s you,” Hecuba said, placing a gentle hand on Gabrielle’s face and shaking her head, still in a state of disbelief. “Oh, your father and Lila will be thrilled to see you.”

Gabrielle’s grandfather Caprise waved at them both from a distance. He dropped the pig feed he’d been sprinkling into a pair of troughs and hobbled over, his bad knee exposing an uneven gait as he worked his way over. Ever since Gabrielle’s grandmother had died, Caprise’s hair had gotten steadily grayer, and now it seemed there wasn’t a strand of brown in sight.

“If it isn’t one of my favorite grandchildren,” Caprise said with a warm smile as he too pulled Gabrielle into a warm hug. “Come inside. I’ve got a nice Winter Solstice gift just waiting to be opened.”

Hecuba’s smile widened as she wiped some stray tears from her eyes. “I’m just so happy to see you.”

“Me too,” Gabrielle said, her eyes finally allowing tears to fall as well.

“That’s enough of that,” Caprise said, directing both of them inside, then hurrying upstairs to fetch Gabrielle’s gift. Gabrielle’s father, who was seated at the kitchen table, stood up immediately.

“Father! It’s so nice to -” Gabrielle started, but stopped as soon as she saw the look of frustration on his face.

“So, you finally decided your family was worth a little of your precious time?” he asked, his voice shaky and annoyed.

“Why didn’t you mention in any of our letters how bad of a situation you were in? If I would have known, Gods...” Gabrielle paused, her voice unable to force out the words. “I would have come home,” she said finally. “I would have -”

“It’s alright Gabrielle,” Hecuba said softly. “We understand.”

“We had no reason to tell you,” Herodatus cut in, his face reddening with anger. “For all we knew you were never coming back home!”

“Herodatus…you’re being too hard on her,” Hecuba said.

“Too hard? Our daughter disappeared off the face of the planet for months and left nothing but a letter of warning!”

Gabrielle could feel the tears suddenly returning, without so much as a warning. She hadn’t expected her reunion with her parents to be perfect, but seeing how much pain she had caused was enough to make her feel nauseous.

“Father I -”

“For months your mother was worried sick about you! We all were!” he spat. “I mean by the Gods Gabrielle, if you knew what you put us through -”

“I never meant to do that. There was a friend who needed my help,” Gabrielle said. “I couldn’t let her spend the summer on her own. She has no family, nobody to look out for her.”

The words seemed to roll right past him as if they’d never been spoken in the first place. “After everything we’ve given you in life, this is how YOU REPAY US?”

Hecuba quickly pulled Herodatus’s arm back as he was about to pound his fist on the table. He glared at his wife but made no attempt to fight her grip. “I know you’re angry, but we just got Gabrielle back. I won’t spend what little time we have left with our daughter before she leaves in bitterness.” Hecuba turned to Gabrielle, who was still wiping away her tears in embarrassment. “Honey, why don’t you go upstairs and visit with Lila. She’s really missed you. When you return we’ll all sit down and have a nice meal together.”

Somehow Gabrielle didn’t believe a nice meal was possible, but she nodded and made her way upstairs, praying to the Gods her sister wouldn’t share the same feelings as their father. It had been more difficult than she expected being away from Lila for so long. In fact, Gabrielle had spent many nights imagining the next time she would see her again. She had so many stories to share and she couldn’t wait to see how her little sister, who always enjoyed listening to Gabrielle’s story no matter what they were about, reacted to some of the wild adventures she had been on. She wiped the image of her father from her mind and turned the corner of the hallway into the guest bedroom, letting feelings of excitement take precedence over the guilt, at least for the moment.

As soon as she entered, Gabrielle was greeted with a mess of clothes and belongings scattered all around the room. Lila was known for keeping the room neat and tidy when they’d shared a room together in their old home, it was one of the few chores she never complained about doing. Someone else must have been sharing the room with Lila, and if Gabrielle had to guess, she knew exactly who the mess belonged to.

Even amongst the heaps of clothing spread around the room, it wasn’t difficult to spot Lila, who was sitting on one of the beds in the corner of the room. Lila sat with her back facing Gabrielle but she was able to make out a small stuffed doll held tightly in Lila’s hand. Lila had long outgrown Dolly, but Gabrielle remembered all the times when they were really young and Lila would carry Dolly everywhere she went, clinging to the small toy for comfort whenever she got scared.

“Wow, I haven’t seen her in a while,” Gabrielle said, speaking only above a whisper so as to not spook Lila. The instant Lila heard Gabrielle’s voice she threw the doll under her pillow, though she didn’t bother turning around to face her sister. “Lila it’s okay to hold onto things you care about. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed -”

“I don’t,” Lila snapped. “I was just...looking through some old things of mine. This room is a disaster, and I wanted to tidy things up again. I’m tired of living in this filth. That doll means nothing to me, I’m not a child.”

“No, you’re not,” Gabrielle said, though she didn’t really agree that Lila wasn’t a child anymore. Like Gabrielle, she’d grown taller since the last time Gabrielle had been in Potadeia, but Lila would always be her baby sister. 

Gabrielle waited a moment for the silence in the room to settle before speaking again, figuring it was likely embarrassment causing Lila to lash out in anger. “There are so many stories I’ve been waiting to tell you. Mother said you missed me while I was away, and I thought maybe we might -”

“Why would I miss you? You were gone so long I forgot what it was like having you around.” Lila sat up at once and before Gabrielle could blink, stormed towards the door, her blue eyes narrowed and angrily avoiding Gabrielle’s gaze.

“Wait Lila, where are you going?” Gabrielle asked quickly. “I know you’re frustrated, but I thought maybe we could catch up...you know, before we both head off to Hogwarts?”

Lila stopped for a moment, her body stiff with anger. “I’m going outside with Marnie,” she declared, still not bothering to look Gabrielle in the eyes. “If you’re as wise as I remember, you won’t follow me.”

“Lila I -” Gabrielle started, but her sister was already far beyond where she could hear her. “I’m sorry,” she finished at a whisper, her words getting swept away along with her sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 1: Sorry I haven't posted in so long! I was overwhelmed with my classes and just didn't have it in me to write anything, but now that it's the summer my goal is to post at least 1 chapter a week. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during these scary times, don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to about anything, sometimes it's nice to have a friendly voice to talk to and I will be happy to share mine for anyone feeling like they need one. If so, the best place to chat would be through my email cchufflepuff552@gmail.com. 
> 
> A/N 2: I also wanted to mention that feedback is always welcome. I know I changed my writing style up quite a bit from the first book (I'm trying to improve my prose and make the story feel more emotional), but if the more clipped and to-the-point prose of the first book was preferable, let me know and I will keep that in consideration when I start writing book 3.


	4. Chapter 4

Xena had almost forgotten how much she missed the quiet. It seemed like ages since she’d been on her own, let alone had a peaceful moment to herself; Gabrielle’s company over the summer had made sure of that. There were many nights she found herself longing for a tranquil evening, which often led to more frustration than Xena cared to admit, and unfortunately, Gabrielle was often on the receiving end of that frustration.

Admittedly for Xena, it was nice to have a small break from what was sometimes overbearing, despite the deep love she had for her friend. Having her there would have made it impossible to maintain focus on the mission at hand, and that wasn’t something she could afford. But with those feelings of relief were feelings of emptiness. For every night filled with bickering and heated arguments, there was an equal number of nights Xena was grateful to have a new family, one she didn’t feel she deserved. 

“It’s not the same without her here, is it?” Xena asked the tall stallion, who had wandered close enough for her to pat his leg. It wasn’t long before Xena found herself missing Gabrielle’s company, of which she would have gladly traded the silence. 

Xena was confident that Gabrielle’s walk to Potadeia would be a safe one. It was doubtful Alti’s companions would have any luck tracking Gabrielle with the added help of the invisibility cloak and Argo trailing beside her; but there was a small voice in the back of Xena’s mind that worried she’d made a mistake letting Gabrielle walk the trail alone without being there as an added precaution. Doing so would have given Alti a headstart that would have taken years to catch up with, there was no easy option, but this was the one where Alti was most likely to be stopped with Gabrielle being alive in the end. It was the best option, despite the feeling of unrest it was causing, and Xena needed to maintain her confidence in that.

To keep her mind occupied, Xena gathered all of the enchanted sand and got busy packing it into a potent grenade. According to the book Xena and Gabrielle had found last semester where they had found information on the Taelamon ruby, the enchanted sand was most powerful when inhaled; a grenade was their best bet for spreading the powder into the air for Alti to breathe in.

During the wait Xena had also re-dressed the burn on her shoulder with the necessary oils and fed Junior a more substantive meal. At this point there wasn’t much left for her to do until Argo returned but sit and wait, which did little to ease the voice of fear in the back of her mind.

Finally, after several candle marks of uneasiness, Argo had returned with a small letter held firmly in her talons.

_ Hurry back. _

_ Your friend always, Gabrielle _

Knowing Gabrielle was safe brought the tiniest hint of a smile to Xena’s face as she slowly tucked the letter into her belongings. She scribbled out a note and attached it to Argo’s leg, along with a small set of Gobblestones. “Keep her safe for me until I return.” She scratched the small owl behind her right ear. “And stay out of trouble. I can’t afford to lose either one of you.”

Argo hooted, and once Xena gave her the go ahead she was off. 

_ Better scope out the area first,  _ Xena thought to herself. Now that she knew Gabrielle was safe she needed to focus on following protocol exactly the way Lao Ma had taught her.

_ “There are an infinite number of avenues with which the mind can travel when it comes to magic,” Lao Ma said. “What holds the most importance is knowing exactly which avenue you will be taking before you take it.” _

_ “Like riding a horse down a new trail?” Biyu, the second youngest of Lao Ma’s daughters asked excitedly. Xena and Lao Ma’s three daughters were seated in a perfect circle, surrounding a small zen garden that was filled with white sand and several large rocks. This was their usual arrangement whenever Lao Ma was teaching them all something important, and each rock in the garden was placed carefully to harness the greatest level of magic, at least that was what Lao Ma wanted them to believe. Xena was always skeptical when it came to invisible sources of magic, but she hadn’t closed her mind to the possibility that what Lao Ma said about the zen garden collecting the energy of anyone who sat nearby to maximize the inherent strength they had inside them might be true.  _

_ “No, you must know precisely where that trail leads before moving forward,” Lao Ma said seriously, though she patted Biyu softly on the head and spoke calmly. “You may only take a new path when you have someone to guide you through it. Someone who knows every stone, every leaf...every twig on the path. Someone who can show you how to travel safely through it.” _

_ _ _ Biyu nodded, although Xena knew it was too complicated for her to comprehend at the age of 7, despite how much effort she made to follow along.  _

_ As usual, when Lao Ma spoke each of the girls in the room were hanging on every word; aside from Jia, the youngest of them all, who found herself busily playing in the sand. Jia’s oldest sister Annchi, who was becoming increasingly irritated with her role as Jia’s caretaker, was forced to pull her sister out of the sand every time she leaned a little too far in, which always seemed to happen with increasing frequency any time the training went on longer than expected. _

_ “The rest of today’s lesson is going to be complicated. Most of you are not ready for this type of teaching. It’s dangerous and something that should be avoided unless entirely necessary,” she glanced around each girl in the circle, who were eager to learn more, before finally landing on Xena, “I would like Xena, and only Xena, to stay for the remainder of today’s training.” _

_ _ _ A flurry of protests filled the room from everyone aside from Jia and Xena.  _

_ “Mother, I am older than Xena,” Annchi argued. “If anything, I should be the one to stay.” _

_ “I wanna stay too,” Biyu said angrily, a large pout forming on her lips, followed by the slumping of her small shoulders. “This isn’t fair.” _

_ “Neither of you are ready,” Lao Ma said, a rare tone of frustration inherent in her voice. _

_ “But mother, I am ready,” Annchi started. “I am -” _

_ “NO you are not,” Lao Ma said with more force than Xena had ever heard her use. _

_ “But, what makes Xena more ready than me?” Annchi asked, shooting at a glance at Xena, who had remained purposefully silent throughout the exchange. “I’m more than capable of handling any magic that’s out there. Tell her, Xena.” _

_ “It’s true,” Xena said. “She’s a stronger and more capable fighter.” _

_ “Stronger, yes. More capable? That is where you hold the greatest skill,” Lao Ma said sternly. “Annchi I will teach you when you are ready, but until then this is magic far too dangerous to be practiced before possessing all the necessary skills. I will not change my mind on the matter.” _

_ Annchi’s eyes had widened into shocking disgust until finally they had reached a level of fury. “You always favor Xena, and she isn’t even your real daughter!” she shouted as she stormed away. She held Jia closer and grabbed Biyu’s hand with added force, pulling her sister along with her, “come on Biyu.” _

_ “Ow, you’re hurting me!” Biyu protested. _

_ “Stop being a baby!” Annchi demanded. _

_ Xena and Lao Ma sat silent for a moment, watching Annchi and Biyu as they argued all the way through the hall. _

_ “Maybe Annchi would be better suited for this…” Xena offered once Annchi was out of hearing distance. Xena felt undeniably close with Biyu and Jia as well. They both felt like sisters to her, but there was no denying Xena shared a different sort of bond with Annchi, and she didn’t want to lose that relationship over feelings of jealousy. _

_ Lao Ma began examining Xena as if she were meeting her for the first time. She pursed her lips and another long silence hung overhead before she spoke again. “If you really believe that, Xena, then maybe you aren’t ready either. Is that truly how you feel? As though you do not possess the skill to perform more dangerous spells?” _

_ “No,” Xena admitted. _

_ “I didn’t think so. You’re confident and practical. You don’t lead with your emotions, you’ve been through undeniable trauma, and you understand your limitations. All of those things are what make you the best choice for this spell,” Lao Ma said. “One can only go so far with strength and false confidence before true fear starts to reveal itself.” _

_ _ _ Xena knew that strength and talent did not equal power and Annchi was always quick to jump into situations where patience and cleverness were better options, it was something Xena wasn’t sure Annchi would ever understand. _

_ " _ _ The reason I am showing you this spell at this time is because you deserve to feel safe in this world,” Lao Ma continued. “The night I found you alone, shaking from head to toe, you still put on a brave face...it revealed a great strength, your resilience even in overwhelming odds. But it also showed that you were just as much a scared little girl as you were a brave one.” _

_ Xena sat without a word. She remembered that night as if it had only happened moments ago, it was one of the most vulnerable moments she had experienced in her life, a moment where she thought she would never find happiness again. _

_ " _ _ I don’t know how long you will be here with us. It’s no secret you’ve become like a daughter to me, Xena, and my daughters have accepted you as family. I would like to think you will stay here forever, but I know that may not be true. While you will always have a place in our family, in this home, I am aware you may not always remain within the safety of these walls. If you ever decide to leave, I want to know you will be able to protect yourself out there.” _

_ _

Xena surveyed the area one last time. She had to be sure there was no one around, even the slightest distraction would ruin the spell.

Once she was sure it was clear, Xena found the perfect location to conduct the spell. She sat cross-legged between a pair of trees at the very edge of the protection spell, which made her invisible to anyone outside of the spells barrier. She took several deep breaths and waited until she had reached a maximum state of relaxation, all unrelated were to be pushed from her mind until she was finished with the spell.

As soon as Alti’s followers made their way outside of the cave, Xena could begin. She waited patiently until finally the first follower stepped out, then several others. Xena had stayed around long enough to identify the number of Alti’s followers, equaling thirty two in total. A majority of them needed to be distracted when Xena threw the sand bombs into the cave to weaken Alti, allowing Xena to make her attack without having to fight off her army as well.

More followers started filing out, until a total of eighteen were standing outside of the cave, reminding one another of the orders Alti had given them. This was the perfect time to begin, any later and they would be too spread apart from one another.

Xena closed her eyes and magic began filling inside her. She cast the spell with her mind and was suddenly transported to the mind of one of Alti’s followers, her visual field now filled with a new image, seen through the eyes of a tall blonde woman, one of Alti’s strongest followers.

Xena had to be careful not to direct any of the blonde woman’s movements while she was connected to her mind or the spell was in danger of turning into an Imperius curse, a one-way ticket to Azkaban. Instead, she concentrated on changing the image the blonde woman saw before her, this would take careful skill.

“What’s wrong Dela? You don’t look so good,” another woman with light brown hair said.

“I feel strange,” Dela admitted. “Maybe I need to go lie down.”

Xena felt the other woman’s hand as it was placed on Dela’s arm to comfort her. Xena fought back any sudden physical reactions as that would have broken the spell. 

“It’s you!” Dela shouted, as the brown-haired woman who had placed a hand on her shoulder had instantly transformed into a tall woman with raven colored hair and blue eyes.

“What are you talking about?” the woman asked, retracting her hand in alarm.

“You’re - you’re Xena,” Dela said. She drew her wand. “Everyone, watch out! She’s trying to trick us all!”

“I’m not Xena,” the woman said, drawing her own wand. “Dela, you’d better step back.”

“No! I won’t!”

The rest of Alti’s followers, who were now surrounding Dela and the brown-haired woman in a circle, held their wands out as well. 

“I’m telling you I’m not Xena, I’m Braely, remember,” Braely said frustratedly. “What has gotten into you?”

“How do we know you are really Braely?” one follower in the circle asked.

“We don’t know that Dela’s telling the truth either,” another one said.

The plan was working. Xena had anticipated the possibility of having to travel to other minds as well, but the confusion that was spreading around provided the perfect distraction for Xena. Even still, Xena needed to move quickly. She carefully separated herself from the spell.

Xena had barely moved an inch before a hard object slowly closed around her throat, blocking the air from escaping her mouth, suddenly she was lifted into the air.

“Did you really think a bit of powder would be enough to best me?”

“Alti,” Xena choked out. She glanced at the metal hand that was enclosed around her throat and smiled. She wouldn’t give Alti the satisfaction of appearing scared, no matter how sure she was this would be her demise. “I see you’ve made an upgrade.” 

Alti’s grip grew stronger. “The last time we were this close, you were screaming to the Gods.”

Xena managed a short laugh, stunted by the force pushing against her trachea. “I wasn’t the only one.”

“Too bad your friend won’t see this,” Alti said. “But she’ll be joining you soon. My friends will be waiting for her on the train.”

Xena fought the urge to show her anger at Alti’s threat, though Alti seemed to pick up on a slight shift in her armor of control.

“What? Did I say something that upset you Xena?”

“You wouldn’t attack her there,” Xena said, maintaining confidence in her voice. “Too public.”

“Do you think I care about that? My army is just as disposable as your friend,” Alti said. “Too bad you won’t be able to save her.”

What had Xena done? She’d tried so hard to protect Gabrielle and now she was in more danger than before.

Alti raised her real hand and before she could touch Xena, a voice boomed from just outside of the barrier. “Stop, you promised me a word with Xena first!”

Alti glared as the owner of the voice stepped out from behind the invisible barrier, making her presence visible. “Fine. Make it quick.”

The girl slowly made her way to Xena. Her brown eyes and golden brown skin were beautiful amongst the slightly darkened sky, and her features striking Xena with a sudden memory, one that had visited her many nights as she lay in bed.

“Using the same spell as the night you killed my father? You really are a one-trick pony, Xena.” 

“Camila,” Xena said.

“You even remember my name. Guess I made a lasting impression, or maybe I was another one of the many whose lives you ruined.” Camila’s eyes narrowed as Xena said nothing. “How did it feel? When you looked me in the eyes right before you stole his last breath away from him. Must’ve been satisfying, killing in front of an innocent girl, dealing her a permanent trauma that would carry on for the rest of her life.” 

“I told you to leave,” Xena said, softening her tone. “I never meant for you to be there.”

She’d tried everything to get Camila to leave that night, but she had refused to abandon her father’s side. If Xena had waited any longer she could have lost the chance to kill Cortese forever. There really was no choice.

“My father was a good man. He did some bad things, but he loved his family,” Camila said. “He was trying to save money for us all. That’s why he ran from town to town, stealing from those who didn’t need the extra money.”

“Cortese wasn’t a good man. He killed my brother, and countless others,” Xena said, the softness slowly leaving her voice. “You were blinded by the lies he told you.”

“He only killed those who posed a threat to him,” Camila said.

“That isn’t true,” Xena said. “My brother posed no threat to anyone. He died with his back turned.”

A loud smack echoed throughout the trees as Xena felt a hard slap against her face. “Enough!” Camila shouted. “My father would have never taken the life of someone who didn’t deserve it.”

“He did,” Xena said, her hard edge returning. “Cortese doesn’t deserve sympathy.”

“Just as I have no sympathy for you. My father could have been punished in a different way, you could have found some other alternative...but you decided death was the only option. So that is the option I am giving you. And your friend Alti’s told me about, she’ll suffer just as my father did. I thought about leaving you alive to watch as I had to all those years ago, but this is better. You would have found a way to stop me, but this way you’ll be just as helpless as I was to do anything about it.”

“You’ve been whining for long enough, Camila” Alti said. “We have big plans and no time to waste.”

“I’m done,” Camila said, leaning in closer until she was nearly face to face with Xena. “I only wish my mother and brother could see this.”

Alti pressed her real hand against Xena’s face, “let’s see what fate has in store for you.”

The world flipped around and suddenly Xena was watching the scene unfold from outside of herself. She could feel the pain as Alti squeezed harder, a sinister laugh escaping her lips. “I guess I was always the one who would end your life.”


	5. Chapter 5

It was a while before Gabrielle finally located Lila outside with their cousin Marnie. They were gathering wood to stoke a fire about a mile out from their new home. Marnie’s father had cut several stumps that morning and sent Lila and Marnie to collect what he had left in a messy heap near the watering pump. It was the only way they were able to cook meals as they couldn’t afford stoves; it was a much slower alternative but worked well enough. 

“I know you’re angry, Lila. It’s all my fault, but if you’ll just listen -”

“Angry? Why should I be?” Lila snapped. “You only left us during the worst harvest of our lives.”

“I’m sorry, if you knew how sorry I was -”

“Save it, Gabrielle. You just want to feel better about yourself. The truth is, you probably weren’t even sorry for spending the summer away until you found out we moved out of our home, were you? I bet you didn’t even miss us.”

“I never considered how you might feel with me being gone for so long,” Gabrielle admitted. “But there wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t miss you - where you weren’t part of my thoughts. By the Gods Lila, how could you ever think I wouldn’t miss you?”

Lila sat for a moment, and Gabrielle felt a rising hope that Lila understood her sister was telling the truth.

“And I’m going to make it up to you - okay - you’ll see,” Gabrielle said with a newfound enthusiasm. “I’ll give you a tour of Hogwarts - there are dozens of secret passageways all around the castle! And there’s this room that transforms into anything you desire. If you want somewhere to practice your painting, it will turn into the perfect place to do so. Or if you want a place to relax and wind down, you’ll get that instead. And I’ll help you with magic too. Xena’s taught me so much. You’d be surprised by how fun it can be when you really know how to cast spells. Once you see all of that, you’ll understand why I left, why I had to help Xena...it will all make sense.”

Lila’s eyes had narrowed as soon as she heard the word ‘Xena’ and they’d remained fixed in that position until she spoke again. Gabrielle’s face fell as she realized Lila wasn’t really ready to forgive her after all. “I don’t know why you’re trying to apologize to me. It’s mother and father you hurt most. If I haven’t made it clear already Gabrielle, I couldn’t care less where you do  _ or don’t _ decide to spend your time.”

“I didn’t realize mother and father were having such a hard time - otherwise I would’ve come home earlier. I would have tried to help,” Gabrielle said, desperate for her sister to understand.

“You mean, you would have come home for the summer?” Lila asked, her tone of voice indicating she didn’t believe a word of it.

“Well...no, not the  _ whole _ summer,” Gabrielle admitted. “But I had a good reason for being gone.”

Lila stood up and turned to Marnie, “is this enough?”

“Plenty,” Marnie said with a nod, surveying the large pile in her hands.

Without another word Lila turned towards the house and started on her way back, and Gabrielle made no attempt to follow her as she knew it was pointless.

Marnie stood as well and walked towards Gabrielle with a wood pile of her own locked tightly between her arms. “I don’t know why she’s being such a baby about it, but that’s Lila for you. Any time something’s not going exactly the way she wants it to the world might as well be ending.”

Gabrielle knew more than anyone else how easy it was for Lila to hold a grudge against someone, she’d been on the other end of it many times before. But this time it was different, she had a good reason for being angry. “Seems everyone but grandfather and mother can’t stand the sight of me.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here. It’s been Tartarus with Lila moping around all hours of the day, acting as if her life is over,” Marnie said. She shook her head in disbelief, “I wonder how she keeps up with it. I’m exhausted just being around her.”

Gabrielle didn’t realize Lila had been that angry all summer, she thought maybe it had started when Gabrielle arrived back. But it was true, while she had never stopped missing Lila, she had been so much happier while she was off adventuring with Xena. It was something that raising livestock and completing household chores could never compare to.

“I’d better head inside before the Lila monster finds a reason to chomp at me too,” Marnie said, breaking Gabrielle from her thoughts. “Don’t let her sour mood get you down too much, though. She’ll get over it eventually.” 

“I hope so,” Gabrielle said, smiling at her cousin appreciatively, although her words hadn’t done much to ward off the feelings of shame. Gabrielle had nobody to blame for Lila’s sour mood but herself. Maybe if she’d decided to stop in once, or send an owl with a letter written specifically for Lila to read, her sister may have felt differently. But she hadn’t. “It’s really nice seeing you, Marnie.”

Marnie and Gabrielle had always been close. They would see each other a few times every year, even though neither of their parents got along too much, and it was always a fun time. The only one who never seemed to enjoy it was Lila, but that was because Lila hated being called out when she was acting out on her anger and Marnie was rarely afraid to speak her mind about it. 

“Nice seein’ you too, Gabrielle,” Marnie said, grabbing a few more strips of wood from the pile and somehow managing to fit it into the already overstuffed load she held in her hands. Then, without another word, she started heading along the trail.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the night went much the same. Herodatus and Lila barely glanced Gabrielle’s way, and when they did the disappointment in their eyes was worse than any words they could have said to her. Marnie’s parents had always been indifferent towards Gabrielle, so their ignoring her existence was nothing new, but the atmosphere was made more uncomfortable by their added contribution to the silence.

Gabrielle decided to spend most of her time with Hecuba instead, helping her prepare a meal for the night and cleaning a few odds and ends things around the house. It helped knowing Hecuba hadn’t been hurt in the same way her father and sister had, but the guilt of hurting them continued to weigh on her throughout the evening and once dinner rolled around, she’d opted not to say much of anything. Trying to make up for lost time now wasn’t going to do any good. It made for the quietest evening Gabrielle had ever experienced in Potadeia. Normally she would have done something to lessen the uncomfortableness everyone was feeling, but she didn’t feel she deserved that luxury, not when she was the reason it was there in the first place.

It wasn’t until everyone had cleared their plates that Hecuba finally broke the silence. “Gabrielle, why don’t you help me clear off the table.”

“Sure,” she said, happy for something to take her mind off the tension. 

Once they were in the kitchen and just out of hearing distance from the rest of the family, Hecuba looked at her daughter with a seriousness that demanded attention. For a brief moment, Gabrielle was afraid of what her mother was going to say, but that fear quickly disappeared as her mother gave her a warm smile. “I know your father and sister are angry, but there is nothing to feel guilty about…” she started gently. “I don’t want you blaming yourself for anything Gabrielle. We had a bad drought, that’s all. Nothing would have changed if you’d come back for the summer.”

Gabrielle gently scrubbed the plate she’d been washing, not feeling she truly deserved the words her mother was giving her. “My being gone just made things worse. If I had been here - at least you wouldn’t have had to worry so much.”

“Worrying is part of being a mother. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, I won’t stop worrying about you girls until the moment I take my final breath, and even then I won’t stop worrying. I won’t say I was happy having you gone, and I certainly won’t say it was easy...but it would have been worse if you’d stayed.”

Gabrielle looked at her mother confused, not sure she had heard her correctly. Hecuba placed a hand on her shoulder, “we both know you weren’t happy here. Your father never could see that, he was blinded by the girl he wanted you to be...but I always knew. I could see it every time I looked out the kitchen window during your break in the middle of the noon hour. You would sit there reading or writing away, and there was always this emptiness there. You weren’t meant for the farming life. And whatever you  _ are _ meant for...it’s important you find it, no matter where or how long you have to look.”

Overcome with emotion Gabrielle smiled at her mother. It was exactly what she needed to hear, but it wasn’t surprising that her mother had been the one to say it; she always knew just the right words to help her feel better, and this time was no exception. 

So Gabrielle made her way to the upstairs bedroom in a better mood. Somehow her mother had understood why she needed to be away, why couldn’t Lila? 

It was clear as soon as Gabrielle stepped inside that Lila still wanted nothing to do with her, not that Gabrielle had expected anything different.

Knowing Lila was trying her best to avoid acknowledging her presence, Gabrielle decided to ignore her as well. There wasn’t much she could do at this point, and there was no point in dwelling on her sister’s moody behaviors. Her mother was right, there wasn’t anything she could have done to stop the bad harvest from happening.

As the night progressed, Gabrielle’s thoughts were filled with wonder about how Xena was getting along. Surely she would have taken down Alti by now or fled the scene knowing it wasn’t safe to attempt any sort of attack. The good thing was she would fill Gabrielle in on everything once she arrived on the train and they would start their next year at Hogwarts. 

Luckily, Marnie had expressed great interest in learning of Gabrielle’s travels with Xena. Her cousin’s growing interest throughout the various stories she told had really helped occupy Gabrielle’s mind on something she was happy to occupy her mind with.

“...just as we were about to escape, the pirates had set fire to the rear of the ship,” Gabrielle continued, her voice carrying dramatically as if she were back on the scene. She was partway through a long journey she had experienced with Xena, and Marnie was clearly invested in learning more. “I wanted to help, but Xena wouldn’t let me near the flames. She went into the Captain’s quarters and carried out all of the men who were trapped inside, using the strength of Gods to bring them all to safety.”

“She was really that strong?” Marnie asked.

“She’s the strongest person I know. Which really came in handy when we had to transfer to the enemies boat. Xena took them all out and threw them overboard,” Gabrielle continued, throwing her hands up into the air without realizing she was doing so. “Then we made our journey back to shore, only this boat was even worse than the first one.”

“Why didn’t you decide to stay on shore in the first place?” Marnie asked. “Sounds like she was more than capable of handling it all herself.”

“Maybe, but I couldn’t leave her side. If something had happened to her I would have never forgiven myself,” Gabrielle said, she had seen no alternative at the time, and even now as she retold the story, she knew she had made the right choice. 

Just then, Gabrielle spotted Argo flapping towards the house in the distance. She opened the window and waited until the small bird had made her way inside before closing it again.

“If that’s Xena, I can see why you wanted to spend so much time with her,” Lila said sarcastically. It was the first thing she’d said all night, and the bitterness in her voice was unmistakable.

“No, this is Argo. Xena’s owl,” Gabrielle said, ignoring her sister’s attempts to anger her.

“Can I pet her?” Marnie asked.

“Just as long as you’re -” before Gabrielle could finish Marnie had already reached forward, and drew her hand back within seconds. “Careful.”

“What’s her problem?” Marnie asked.

“She doesn’t like company,” Gabrielle explained. “I’ve known her for nearly a year now and she still doesn’t like me - though I like to think that’s changed a little since I first met her.”

“What’s this?” Marnie asked as she pulled the note from Argo’s talons and unfolded it in her palms.

“A letter from Xena,” Gabrielle said.

“It says ‘save me a seat’,” Marnie said, squinting her eyes in confusion. “What do you think she means by that?”

“There’s one compartment on the train she’s particularly fond of,” Gabrielle said with a laugh. She could easily imagine Xena saying the words in an unnecessarily tough and controlled manner. For whatever reason, showing any sort of emotion was considered a weakness, at least to Xena. But Gabrielle had always believed it to be a strength. As admirable and impressive as Xena was, Gabrielle knew some of her stoic nature was more a way to protect her from getting hurt than a true lack of feelings. But she understood why, after everything Xena had been through, it was no wonder why she had trouble letting others get close to her.

After a moment, Gabrielle reached over to pet Argo, expecting the same level of success Marnie had achieved just seconds before, and sure enough she was moving her hand out of reach without so much as getting in a single pet. “I know this is difficult, but we’ll see her again. It won’t be long now.” The look in Argo’s eyes indicated she wasn’t going to be calmed down by the sole presence of a soothing voice.

“What’s this?” Marnie asked, pulling something else from Argo’s talons. “Looks like a bag of marbles…”

“It’s a game in the wizarding world,” Gabrielle explained. If Xena’s note hadn’t been an attempt to stop Gabrielle from worrying, this certainly was. 

And it worked, for most of the night anyway. Gabrielle quickly found herself imagining what it was going to be like when she returned to Hogwarts. She wouldn’t have to hide her friendship with Xena this time around, which meant they could do even more together than ever before, like eating at the same table for lunch, and wandering around the grounds without fear that Alti would attack them at any moment.

Gabrielle was also determined to convince Xena they needed to increase the difficulty of their training. She was almost certain if she’d had any training with defending spells being cast on her, things would have gone smoother during their attack in the woods. Not to mention Xena might have trusted her to help in the fight with Alti rather than sending her back home so she wouldn’t be ‘in the way’.

Truth be told, there was still a lingering worry that leaving Xena on her own was a mistake.  _ Xena told me she would be okay, this worrying has to stop,  _ she told herself. But it wasn’t enough to throw the worries away completely, they always came back one way or another.

For a while Gabrielle was visited by pleasant dreams, but they didn’t last forever; eventually she found herself battling to wake from a particularly bad nightmare. One where Xena had been gravely wounded, and Gabrielle was left standing in a pool of her blood. 

When she finally awoke, her heart was racing a mile a minute. She waited for herself to calm down, knowing it had all been a bad dream, but suddenly everything felt wrong. Like her mind had been trying to send her the message that something horrible had happened, and she was somehow able to sense it.

In an instant, Gabrielle threw off her sleeping bag and made her way to Argo, who had suddenly started to flap wildly in her cage. Maybe the small owl sensed something was wrong too.  _ I have to go find her,  _ Gabrielle thought at once.

Gabrielle gathered the rest of her things as quietly as she could, then she slowly helped Argo into the cage. 

“Argo, shhh. We’re going to find Xena, okay? Don’t you worry,” Gabrielle whispered as Argo continued her battle to escape the metal bars surrounding her. “We have to be quiet.” 

“Where are you going?”

The light suddenly flickered on and Marnie was staring at her in surprise.

Gabrielle nearly dropped all of her belongings at the sudden sound of Marnie’s voice.  _ Gods, this is not what I need right now. _ “Just out for a walk,” she said quickly.

Marnie rolled her eyes. “No you’re not, I can hear it in your voice. You’ve always been a horrible liar, Gabrielle. Where are you really going?”

Gabrielle took a long breath as Marnie waited impatiently for a response, her arms folding against her chest and a stern look crossing her face. “I’m going back to find Xena.”

She took a step forward but Marnie was there within seconds to block her path. “Gabrielle, you can’t just wander into the woods in the dead of the night.”

“Something’s wrong, I can feel it,” Gabrielle said. She tried moving once more but Marnie remained fixed in place. Despite being a year younger, Marnie was much tougher than Gabrielle. It wasn’t likely she would be getting past her by sheer physical force. “Marnie, I have to make sure she’s alright.”

Lila, who had been laying down with her back facing them both the entire night, finally spoke. “Let her go. She’d clearly rather be anywhere but here.”

“Lila that’s not –“

“I’ve gotten used to having you gone. You’re leaving won’t make any difference to me.”

Gabrielle’s heart sank, she hated how much she had hurt Lila. But she needed to find Xena.

“Don’t listen to her. She’s just being overdramatic,” Marnie said. “How do you know something’s really wrong?”

“I don’t, it’s just a feeling I have,” Gabrielle said, knowing there was no way to really explain it.

“A feeling? Gabrielle, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Marnie said. “If those stories you told are really true, I don’t see how someone as strong as her could be in danger.”

“The stories are true, but Alti...she’s more powerful than anyone Xena’s faced before,” Gabrielle said. “What if she’s hurt and she needs me? I have to find her, I have to make sure.”

“What if you die on the way?” Marnie asked, which was enough to give Gabrielle a small pause. She knew that was a risk, especially at this time in the night where there was bound to be monsters hanging around the woods. “How will you be able to help her then?”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Gabrielle said bravely. The thought of it was scary, but she was able to push that fear aside; she needed to. “But if Xena dies, and I could have done something about it…” Gabrielle couldn’t bring herself to entertain the thought any further.

“Think about your family,” Marnie said. “Your mother may forgive you for running off, but for getting yourself killed...?”

“Mother would understand. She wants me to find my purpose, and I think I have,” Gabrielle said. “When I’m with Xena...I feel as though I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.” She’d never said the words aloud, and doing so made her realize how true they actually were. Xena was her family too. “Even if she isn’t my purpose, she doesn’t deserve to go out like this. She’s been through so much, she deserves to find some happiness first. She can’t die before she’s had that chance.”

“Hecuba puts on a brave face when you’re here, but you haven’t seen her for the past few months. She was a mess Gabrielle, not knowing where you were or what might happen to you. Most nights she would cry in her room - your father had to comfort her back to sleep. It was only on the nights she received a letter from you that she was able to rest easy. I don’t think her heart would be able to take it if you died.”

Gabrielle loosened the tight grip she’d maintained on her belongings. The image of Hecuba isolating herself made the horrible feelings of guilt return.

She took a deep breath, the intense feeling that something was wrong with Xena had subsided. It had to have been the nightmare that had built her fears up so suddenly. Maybe she had overreacted.

Gabrielle remembered back to her last conversation with Xena in the woods, she had been so confident that she was going to be fine; and if things got too bad, she assured Gabrielle she wasn’t going to stick around. Xena was smart, Gabrielle knew that much.

“You’ll be seeing her in a few days time,” Marnie said. “That’s what she said in her letter.”

Gabrielle nodded, finally putting all of her belongings, aside from Argo, onto the ground. It would have been stupid to act on such an impulse, at least at this time of the night where she would have no way of knowing where the trail was that she needed to follow, let alone to fend off any monsters that could be waiting for her.

_ Please don’t let this be a mistake,  _ Gabrielle thought, hoping beyond all hope that she was making the right decision. 


	6. Chapter 6

The last thing Xena saw before the sudden pain was Camila’s pleasure as she watched Xena’s final moments, the sound of Alti’s laughter echoing around her. Then, seconds later, the pain was over.

Where she found herself now wasn’t much of a mystery. Xena had been taught from a young age that if you didn’t awaken in a beautiful garden following death, you were on your way to the underworld. As a child she’d imagined what it would be like to be in the Elysian Fields, never entertaining the possibility she would end up anywhere else; but the night she killed Cortese, visions of a peaceful afterlife were replaced with visions of a tormented one.

Even if the lack of a garden hadn’t been enough to tip Xena off on where she was headed, the bleak and cold cave she found herself in would have told her. It was just as her mother had described it, a dark lifeless pit with a lake covered in a mysterious fog. The stories had always scared her as a child, but now, it reminded Xena of feelings she had often experienced after losing her brother, lonely despair. Tartarus felt more like traveling to the next destination, and at this point she felt it was exactly where she deserved to be. 

What worried Xena more than moving on to Tartarus was whether Alti would follow through with the threat she had made on Gabrielle’s life. It was the perfect thing to say to keep her mind whirring with anger and fear, they’d been clever in that way. 

“Well if it isn’t the sexy and mysterious Xena,” someone’s voice rang from a boat off in the distance. As a figure slowly came into view, Xena was able to identify a pale face with dark shadows beneath his eyes. Despite his haggard appearance, he had a grin that stretched from both sides of his face. “It’s been a while. But,” he said peaking his head to see what was behind Xena. “I don’t see a vivacious blonde by your side. What was her name again? Abigail? No, no, it was Gabrielle, wasn’t it? Yes. Lovely young girl. Doesn’t get my juices goin’ like you though if you know what I’m sayin’. Well, without that short hair anyway. That short hair is - somethin’ else I tell ya!”

_ Gabrielle’s been by my side in a past lifetime?  _ Xena had heard of souls meeting in multiple lifetimes, but she had never given it much thought. She didn’t see the point in thinking about something that made no impact in her current life. When one moved onto a new lifetime they didn’t carry the memories of past lives with them.

“Got any coins with you?”

In an instant, a gold piece of metal with several detailed markings appeared in Xena’s hand.

“Well then, step on inside,” Charon said, reaching for the coin in Xena’s hand as the boat had finally been brought to a standstill. “Ra cha cha cha, ra ta ta ta. We’re goin’ on our way, we’re goin’ on our way. Do you know where we’re headed?”

“Tartarus,” Xena said, without a second’s hesitation.

“Binnnnngo! That’s correct,” Charon said, rubbing his hands together and dancing around. “But you always seem to know. Some people, they come on here with no idea. Then it’s a shock, BAM, you’re goin’ to the realm of torture. You’d think they’d know, but they don’t. Never goes too well for those guys.”

“How do I get to Hades?” Xena asked, not interested in entertaining Charon’s need for small talk.

“Ah, excellent question, but why would you like to know?” Charon asked.

“I need to check in on a friend’s fate,” Xena said. If Gabrielle was destined to die by Alti’s hands at the train station and there was some way to stop it, she couldn’t let it occur. No matter what she had to sacrifice to prevent it.

Charon smiled. “Ah-ha, so you have met the blonde one. Don’t know how many lifetimes it’s been since you wound up here having never met. Not a common occurrence, that’s for sure. So tell me Xena, how long have you known each other this time - no wait! Let me have a guess.” Charon did a quick survey of Xena before coming to a conclusion, “can’t be much more than a year. I’d say a little less.”

“What makes you say that?” Xena asked, surprised by the accuracy.

“Oh no - best to keep a little mystery,” Charon said, winking at the frustrated look on Xena’s face, a devious grin returning to his face. “Got you curious though, didn’t I?

“How do I find Hades?” Xena asked, her patience running thin. She didn’t know how long the boat ride was going to be, and she didn’t want to waste any more time than she already had.

“You don’t,” Charon said. “He hates company. Best leave it alone, I say. If you know what’s good for ya.”

“I don’t care what he’s like,” Xena said. “Is there a way to meet with him?”

“Yes, but he’ll ask you to do a favor. No doubt about that. Oh and your time in Tartarus will suffer for it too, he’ll make sure of that.”

“Where is he?” Xena asked, tired of asking the same question.

“Don’t give up, do ya? Same old Xena,” Charon said. “Well he’s past the Moat of Despair in a giant castle, it’s a giant eyesore smack dab in the middle of nothing, can’t miss it. You’ll have to swim through the lake to get there. Trouble is, brings back your worst memories. Just added it in a few centuries ago. Got tired of all the travelers wandering into his home.”

“And he’ll be inside?” Xena asked.

“Most likely,” Charon said. “Not a pleasant experience goin’ through that lake though, especially for someone with your history. Maybe you oughta consider rethinkin’ your motivation for going.”

“There is no re-thinking it,” Xena said.

“Didn’t think there would be, not with you, stubborn as an oxen mule,” Charon said. 

For the rest of the boat ride, Xena was silent. She didn’t know what was worse, the fear of not knowing the future, or Charon’s endurance when it came to singing and babbling on. He made Gabrielle look like a mime in comparison.

Once the ride was finished, Charon brought the boat to a standstill once more. “Well, best of luck to ya. Apparently, you’re gonna need it.”

“Luck’s got nothin’ do with it,” Xena said, stepping off the boat and onto the cave rock just inches to the right of her. There were more people than she had expected walking around, and every one of them looked hopeless as they wandered around aimlessly. Xena asked several of them about the Moat of Despair. Nobody seemed to know where it was, although Xena was sure it was more a lack of caring to help than it was a lack of knowledge. 

After a while, she found someone who was willing to answer her; a tall man who stood largely hunched over.

“Where can I find the Moat of Despair?” Xena asked.

The man pointed ahead of him without saying a word. Off very far in the distance was a large castle, with a barely visible body of water surrounding it; but it was there and she was able to see it, and that was enough to keep her moving forward for now.

“Thank you,” Xena said, and the man nodded before walking away.

_ Hold on Gabrielle,  _ Xena thought, as she started on her way. It was going to be a long journey, and Xena hoped she would have enough time to get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References  
Stewart, R. J. (Writer), & Green, M. (Director). (1996). Mortal beloved. [Television series episode]. In R. Tapert and S. Raimi (Producers). Xena: Warrior Princess, New Zealand: Renaissance Pictures.
> 
> Stewart, R. J. (Writer), & Hurst, M. (Director). (1997). A day in the life. [Television series episode]. In R. Tapert and S. Raimi (Producers). Xena: Warrior Princess, New Zealand: Renaissance Pictures.


	7. Chapter 7

“Now that we’ve nearly bought out every store in town, how many items have we got left on the list?” Caprise asked, as they wandered down Diagon Alley. There were shops everywhere, just as Gabrielle remembered, but the excitement she felt was much shallower this time around.

She felt better about her nightmare a few days before, but something still felt very wrong. Thankfully, today was the day Gabrielle would be meeting Xena on the train, and all her feelings of upset would be gone as soon as she saw that her friend was safe and sound.

“I think all that’s left is  _ Hogwarts: A History _ , and a few other books,” Marnie said. “Lila needs a copy as well. Maybe if she hadn’t lost the ability to use her tongue she’d have told you that.”

“I have not,” Lila cut in. “I just haven’t got anything to say.”

Gabrielle prepared to add something in that might help them both feel better but was interrupted as soon as she opened her mouth to speak.

“How long are you going to keep this up? Your sister was gone for a few months, big deal. She’s back now, and we’ll all be spending several months at Hogwarts together,” Marnie said. “There’s no reason to drag this out until you’ve got gray hairs on your head.”

“I’m not!” Lila said. “If you ever learned to keep your mouth shut, maybe I could get a word in -”  
“Alright, alright,” Caprise said, his usual jolly and mild-mannered self turning much angrier than Gabrielle had ever seen him before. “I can’t stand to listen to the arguing anymore. Family is so precious, it’s the most important thing in this whole world...and you must treat it with care and love.”

Marnie and Lila quieted down, but they both shot each other an angry glare when their grandfather wasn’t looking. Gabrielle figured it was time for her to jump in and try to diffuse the situation as well. 

“There’s a nice quidditch shop just down there, Marnie. I know how excited you’ve been to learn more about it,” Gabrielle said, pointing towards the small shop filled with brooms and other supplies. She turned to her sister, “and there’s a nice ice cream parlour close by I know you’d love to try, Lila.”

“Don’t do me any favors,” Lila said.

Marnie hooked her arm with Gabrielle’s. “Well, I for one would love to check out the quidditch shop.”

“Let’s get those books of yours first,” Caprise said, escorting them into Flourish and Blotts. 

As soon as they’d entered inside they were welcomed by books piled all around them. Some were neatly packed on shelves, while others were piled on the floor, as if there wasn’t enough room to fit them all in on the bookcases.

As Caprise, Lila, and Marnie wandered around, Gabrielle made her way over to the empty journals. If she had more money, that was exactly where she would have liked to spend it. But she’d have to make do with the few journals she had left to right on. 

Just as she was about to turn back to her family she found herself colliding with something hard, knocking her to the ground and causing her vision to blur for a moment. When her vision cleared she was able to make out a boy with short brown hair wearing a strange hat with flaps sticking straight out at the ends. The material looked to belong to a colder weather season, and Gabrielle wondered why he had chosen to wear it during one of the hottest days ot he year.

“Excuse me, but are you...” the boy glanced down at his hand, “Gabrielle?” 

“Yes,” Gabrielle said, surprised the stranger knew her name. It took a moment before her head had cleared, and she knew from the throbbing there would be some sort of bruise where they had collided. “Have we met?”

“No, but I’m s’pposed to deliver this to you,” the boy said, grabbing a journal from the inside of his cloak and handing it over to her. “That’s what I was told.”

“By who?” Gabrielle asked. “Who wants to deliver this to me?”

“Don’t know,” he said, looking just as confused as Gabrielle. He puffed up his chest and a big proud grin appeared on his face. “But she said she needed someone brave. That’s why she asked me.”

“What did she look like?” Gabrielle asked.

“Hmm, well she was blonde. Good lookin’ too. She had these big brown eyes, they were real scary, like she’d plow you down in an instant if she really wanted to,” the boy said, looking suddenly uncomfortable. “Well, I’d better get goin’. Powerful wizards like me don’t have time to rest.”

_ Well that was strange,  _ Gabrielle thought as she watched the boy stumble away, knocking over several piles of books as he went. She quickly undid the tie wrapped around the journal and noticed there was nothing inside. The pages were all blank. Who had brought it to her? The description of a blonde-haired girl with scary brown eyes didn’t sound familiar.

“What was that?” Marnie asked. Gabrielle had hardly noticed her appearing at her side.

“I’m not sure,” Gabrielle said, finally tearing her gaze from the boy in the distance.

“Well we’ve gotten our books,” Marnie said. “Best we head to the last few shops before we leave for the train.”

Gabrielle nodded and followed her cousin out, holding the strange journal in her hands.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

As soon as Gabrielle arrived at King’s Cross Station, she began the search for her tall friend. The train station was packed with hundreds of muggles, witches, and wizards, which made it difficult to spot everyone who was there. As striking as Xena’s overall appearance was, she somehow had a knack for blending into the background when she really wanted to.

“I guess this is just about the time for me to leave you girls to continue this adventure on your own,” Caprise said. “But first, Gabrielle, I’d like a word with you?”

“Of course,” Gabrielle said, curious as to what he wanted to discuss.

“I know you’ve had a tough go of things since you got back, but it’s been tough on your sister too,” Caprise said. “This is her first time going out on her own, and Lila...well she isn’t quite as strong as you.”

Gabrielle glanced back at Lila, whose face had seemed to reach a permanent state of sourness. She knew exactly the message her grandfather was sending her, to look out for Lila while she was there. “I’ll keep her out of trouble.” 

“And do the same for yourself,” he said, giving her a hug. “I want all of my grandchildren returning in one piece, alright?”

Once Caprise had given all the girls a long hug and left for home, Gabrielle was determined to find Xena. It wasn’t likely that she would be hanging around aimlessly twiddling her thumbs. If she was here already, Gabrielle knew she would have wasted no time making her way to the train compartment; so that’s where she needed to be as well.

She suddenly spotted a girl with very familiar curly blonde hair, huddled together with a large group of girls, stopping her in her tracks. “Ephiny?” Gabrielle called out.

The curly haired girl turned around and smiled as Gabrielle immediately pulled her into a hug. “Gabrielle. It’s good to see you.”

“How have you been holding up? Is your arm feeling any better?” Gabrielle asked, excited to see her friend.

“Good as new,” Ephiny said.

“Happy to hear it,” Gabrielle said. “Xena and I can’t thank you enough for what you did for us.”

“It was nothing,” Ephiny said. She glanced at Marnie and Lila behind me. “Who is this?”

“Oh, I forgot to introduce you - this is my sister Lila and my cousin Marnie. They are coming to Hogwarts for the first time,” Gabrielle said. Marnie smiled and gave a small wave, but Lila stood cross-armed with the same stony look in her eyes.

“Don’t mind Lila,” Marnie said, “she sometimes forgets what it means to be polite.”

Lila rolled her eyes but Ephiny didn’t appear bothered by it. 

“We’re throwing a party tonight for second years. We’d be happy if you joined us,” Ephiny said, while the other girls nodded in agreement.

“I would love to,” Gabrielle said with a smile. She was sure Xena would want a relaxing night by herself after facing Alti, and she could hardly say no to a nice party. “Have any of you spotted Xena around?”

“No, I haven’t,” Ephiny said, all of the Amazons shaking their heads to indicate the same thing.

“We seperated a few days back, but we’re supposed to be meeting up today,” Gabrielle said. “She promised she would meet me on the train. That must be where she’s at.”

Ephiny nodded. “Xena doesn’t seem the type to go back on her word. If she hasn’t been held up, I’m sure she’ll be there.”

In all the time Gabrielle had known Xena, she had proven to greatly value promises. If she gave word she would do something, it wasn’t likely she would stray from that unless something else got in the way.

“I’d better make my way there,” Gabrielle said. “It was nice seeing all of you.”

“Nice seeing you too Gabrielle,” they all said, almost in perfect unison.

Once Gabrielle finally reached the train, she raced to the compartment where Xena had said she would be, wondering if someone had already taken it over. They weren’t the first to arrive on the train, and plenty of people wanted that compartment for themselves. But if that was the case Xena would have likely scared them away already.

Her heart sank the second she slid the door open and found an empty train compartment with nothing inside, no suitcases, no clueless first years, no Xena.

_ She must be running late,  _ Gabrielle told herself. 

As if hearing her thoughts, Marnie said, “there’s still a good 30 minutes before the train is set to depart.”

“That’s true, she’s probably on her way now,” Gabrielle said, but with every moment that passed she couldn’t help but second guess her feelings of hopefulness. 

“How much time now?” Gabrielle asked after what felt like an hour. 

Before Marnie could check her watch, the announcer’s voice echoed over the loud speaker.

“We will be departing in 5 minutes time. Make sure you are properly situated and all of your belongings are with you.”

_ Where are you Xena?  _ There really wasn’t much time left now and Gabrielle could feel her hope turning into a panic. Had Xena chosen a different compartment? No, that didn’t make sense. She would have had no reason to do so.

“Two minutes until departing time,” the announcer said.

_ Come on Xena, you still have a chance,  _ Gabrielle thought. She glanced at the compartment door, imagining her friend walking through it, imagining the joy she would feel as she saw her friend alive. 

And then, “we will now depart. Welcome everyone, to the Hogwarts Express.”

“Maybe she just missed the train,” Marnie suggested, her voice distant as Gabrielle felt like the world had suddenly become frozen in time.

“Maybe…” Gabrielle said, her words quiet and far away.  _ Or maybe something terrible has happened to her. _


	8. Chapter 8

The journey to the Moat of Despair was long, but uneventful. The dark lifeless caves did not vary in it’s gloominess the entire way there, but it made no difference to Xena, all she cared about now was reaching Hades. 

“Hey, where do you think you’re goin’?” one of the men who were standing guard next to the moat of water said.

“To that castle,” Xena said, directing her gaze towards the large building on the other end of the water.

The guard glanced at another man standing next to him. “Ha, why would you wanna do that?”

“I’ve got some business to take care of,” Xena said vaguely.

“Oh really, got some business to take care of do you?” Suddenly, both guards broke into a fit of laughter, but Xena remained unfazed.

“Nobody crosses the Moat of Despair ‘less they got somethin’ more than a bit of business to tend to,” the second guard said. “You fixin’ for a bout of painful torment? Lots of guys down here do it, makes ‘em feel more alive, but they got plenty a that over there. Why go through all this?”

Xena brought her gaze to where he was pointing. Off in the distance was a line of people waiting to be hanged at the gallows, beheaded at a guillotine, burned in a pit of fire, and just about any other form of torture that could be imagined. 

“I told you, I have business with Hades,” Xena said simply.

“Explain and we might let you through,” the first guard said, raising his long bladed staff into the air.

“My friend is in trouble. I want to see what fate has in store for her,” Xena said. And if Hades was planning on welcoming Gabrielle into Tartarus Xena wanted to do everything she could to stop it, no matter the cost.

The first guard turned to the second, though Xena couldn’t see his eyes through the mask he wore, his body language suggested some level of surprise. “It’s been a long time since anyone down here has cared about anyone other than themselves. Not to say Hades will find any sympathy for you, but…” he paused for a moment, “...it may be worth the try.”

“Seems a longshot,” the second guard said. “Hades ain’t gonna ‘preciate our sendin’ her to ‘im through.”

“I say if she’s willing to undergo the torment of painful memories, she oughta get the chance to try.”

“Hades gets angry, ‘s on you,” the second guard said.

“He’ll make sure your worst fears are realized,” the first guard added. “Your time in Tartarus will be worse than you can imagine. But if you are telling the truth, then let the Gods have some mercy on you. You may pass.”

“Thank you,” Xena said. Without any time to spare, she dove headfirst into the icy cold lake. 

_ The moment she came into contact with the water, her mind was instantly transported to a grassy field. Suddenly, Xena saw a small girl with dark black hair and bright blue eyes, barely older than 9 years old. Beside her was an even younger boy with sandy blonde hair and dark brown eyes. _

Xena’s heart felt an icy cold stab of pain as she saw him. She knew exactly what scene was about to play out, but she couldn’t stop now, as much as she desperately wanted to. She had to keep swimming.

_ Over here Lyceus! Something’s pulling!” the young girl yelled with excitement and urgency. She was holding onto a large fishing pole that was much bigger than most girls her age could handle, and now that she’d gotten a bite on the line, it took every bit of her strength to keep from being knocked off balance and dragged into the lake. _

_ " _ _ I’ll help!” Lyceus joined the young girl’s side. “We almost got it. Xena hold...tighter.” _

_ " _ _ I’m...trying,” young Xena forced out. “Lyceus keep your feet planted. You’re about to -” _

_ A loud WHAP filled the air as they both found themselves being dragged off their feet, letting go of the pole just before they landed into the water, narrowly avoiding a cold and wet trek back home. _

_ “We almost had it,” Lyceus said, pounding his small fist into the grass below him.  _

_ Xena rustled his hair. “Maybe next time, Ly.” _

_ “You really think so?” _

_ Xena smiled, a mixture of arrogance and playfulness in her voice. “He doesn’t stand a chance against us.” _

_ It had been a beautiful day, and being out in the nice open air with the sun beating down and creating small sparkles all along the lake made for a peaceful afternoon. It was hard not to get a little lost in the tranquil feeling of it all. _

_ The peaceful feeling lasted a few moments before Xena decided it was time to have a little devious fun. She scooped a small dash of water into her palm when Lyceus wasn’t looking and threw it towards him, little droplets landed on the back of his head. _

_ “Hey!” Lyceus grabbed a handful for himself and Xena was suddenly hit with the cold chill of water against her neck. She laughed as he tried throwing some more, but Xena was able to dodge every one of them. Soon, Lyceus was laughing too. _

_ “I’ll get you for that,” he vowed, though they both knew that wasn’t likely. _

_ “I’d like to see you try,” Xena said. Then, Lyceus suddenly stopped and they both grew quiet as a mixture of sounds echoed through the woods to the right of them. _

_ “What’s that?” Lyceus asked, though Xena recognized the clangs of metal on metal and the pounding of horses running within seconds of hearing it. Xena and Lyceus watched in horror as an army of men on horseback slowly came into view. _

_ Xena felt her heart stop suddenly. “They’re headed for Amphipolis.” _

_ _

Xena swam faster, breaking from the memory for a brief second. She didn’t want to go back. She didn’t want to see anymore. But there was no choice now, she was too far from shore to escape the rest of the memory, and Gabrielle needed her to keep moving.

_ “We have to help fight ‘em off,” Lyceus said at once. _

_ “No, we won’t stand a chance against them,” Xena said. “We should tell mother and Toris -” _

_ “We won’t make it in time,” Lyceus argued, his eyes wide with fear and determination. “We can’t just leave ‘em on their own to fight.” _

_ Xena remembered exactly how she had felt in that moment. They had already broken the rules by going to the fishing lake, Cyrene had told them to stay at home as rumors had circulated about Cortese and his men in nearby towns. At the time, Xena never expected Cortese to visit their town, and she was tired of being cooped up in the house. Now she realized she had made a huge mistake, and Cyrene would be furious if Xena knowingly placed them in danger’s path. _

_ “No,” Xena said. “Mother would never forgive me if somethin’ happened to us.” _

_ “But what if they die and we coulda stopped it?” Lyceus argued. _

_ Xena couldn’t bear the thought of that either. Losing her family was much worse than a harsh scolding. If they were really careful, they could maybe take out some of the men without being spotted. With what little time they had spent with their father before he abandoned them, Xena had learned a few small things, and she hoped she’d learned enough to make a difference now that it really counted. _

_ “We have to be extra careful,” Xena told her brother sternly. “Do exactly as I say. No matter what, okay?” _

_ Lyceus nodded. They slowly crept forward, using the trees to keep themselves hidden. Xena remembered one of her father’s first lessons; if you don’t have a weapon handy, make one. “Use whatever you have around you,” Atrius had told her.  _

_ “Still got that knife?” Xena asked. _

_ Lyceus nodded, pulling the small silver dagger from his pocket. It wasn’t much, but it could be used to whittle down a branch of wood. Xena tore a particularly thick one from the tree next to her by casting Diffindo, one of the handful of spells Atrius had taught her, and began slicing at the end immediately.  _

_ “Grab some more branches,” Xena ordered, and Lyceus rushed to complete the task. _

_ Once Xena had sharpened the ends of several branches, she used Diffindo to cut some of them shorter. If they were too long, it would be much harder to throw accurately and with enough force to do any real damage.  _

_ Even with the stakes they had made now, she wasn’t sure it would be enough to take anyone down, but they didn’t have any time to fix something else. Instead of listening to her doubt, she soldiered on, the fear for Cyrene and Toris’s safety fueling her every move. _

_ “Stay behind me,” Xena said as they pushed their way closer to the army. They could only attack one man at a time, at which point they would have to momentarily flee the scene. If they stayed around too long they would be spotted and killed in an instant. They needed to be smart. _

_ Xena watched the men carefully as they made their way further into the woods. There was a long line of them, but the numbers seemed to be dwindling now.  _

_ Then, without warning, Xena spotted another group of men, much smaller this time, to the left of them. She froze as one of the men glanced their direction, his eyes tracing immediately to them. Why hadn’t she noticed them coming in from that side of the woods? Was it too late? Would they attack? Xena and Lyceus didn’t pose much of a threat, that was one advantage they had, if they had any conscience they would let them be. _

_ “Cortese, I think I see someone,” the man who had spotted them said. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a closer look. “But they appear to be children.” _

_ “Kill them,” Cortese said. _

_ “Sir?” the man asked. “They don’t look much older than 10, maybe less.” _

_ “You heard me, get them out of the way,” Cortese ordered, kicking his horse and galloping off suddenly. _

_ The next part happened so fast and the face of each of the men seemed to become engraved into Xena’s mind as they pulled out their weapons, a mixture of wands and bows and arrows. Pulling herself out of the frightened trance, Xena grabbed Lyceus’s arm, who also appeared frozen in shock, and pulled him with her as the arrows and spells shot towards them. _

_ They ran for cover as fast as they could until they reached a cave far out of view, huddled on the edge of a small pond. Most travelers passed by the cave as it looked more like a large rock along the shore when it wasn’t viewed in exactly the right angle. It would be the perfect place to stay while they waited for the area to become safer.  _

_ Xena realized just how stupid she had been trying to fight them off without the tactical skill necessary to pull it off successfully, and she wouldn’t be taking the chance again, not with the risk that Lyceus would be caught in the crossfire too.  _

_ What she needed to do now was protect him and get him home safely, that was her only responsibility now. _

_ “That was too close,” Xena said, the anger she felt at herself betrayed in her voice.  _

_ She had almost gotten them both killed.  _

_ Xena glanced at Lyceus, who now had a blank expression on his face. _

_ “What’s wrong?” Xena asked, then her eyes widened as she noticed the small arrow jutting from his stomach. “No,” she shook her head. “No, Lyceus…” she forced out, her mind not fully able to process what was happening. _

_ “Xena?” he asked, looking down at the wound. His arms were shaking and his face was starting to grow pale. _

_ How had this happened? How had she let this happen? _

_ It didn’t matter, because she was going to fix it. Lyceus couldn’t die. Xena wouldn’t let him. _

_ “I’m gonna get you to a healer,” she said at once, lifting his small body into her arms. He felt limp, and Xena could tell he was growing weaker with each second that he tried to keep himself awake. “You’re gonna be okay, Lyceus. I’ll make sure of it.” _

_ As soon as she stepped out into the open, she could see the army of horses and men had made considerable progress forward, but they were still close enough to spot them. If they left the cave it was likely they would be caught by some of them. Maybe they would consider it pointless to kill two harmless kids and end the search, but Xena didn’t know when or if that would happen.  _

_ “But it’s...too...far,” Lyceus choked out, blood mixing with his words. He was losing color fast. Xena had to reach the healer fast, there was no time to wait for the path to clear.  _

_ “No it’s not,” Xena said, though his words circled in her mind like a sea of doubt. She was running as fast as she could now, and it didn’t matter how much stamina she had left, she was going to push through it. Only now did she notice the arrow in her own leg, but the adrenaline rushing through her helped distract from some of the pain, and that was the least of her problems at the moment. _

_ “Xena...” Lyceus said. _

_ “It’s okay, just a little further,” Xena said, despite the far distance that was still left to travel. _

_ “I’m scared Xena, I don’t wanna die,” he said. “I want to stay with you...and Toris. And mother.” _

_ “You won’t die. I’m not gonna let you,” Xena said, as forcefully as she could sound at the young age of 9. She didn’t want Lyceus doubting her for a second. _

_ Yet her words seemed to get lost as she glanced down at her younger brother. Xena saw a small frail child she barely recognized anymore battling to get air, any air, into his lungs. She held him tighter and continued to run. _

_ Lyceus glanced back at her, his brown eyes frightened and covered in bits of red where the sweat had fallen. Most of his hair was matted to his face now, and Xena could tell his eyelids were becoming heavier and heavier. He wouldn’t have the strength to keep them open for much longer _

_ “It’s...too...late...for me,” Lyceus breathed. “Go...save...them.” _

_ “No. Not until we get you to safety,” Xena said. She refused to believe he would die. She pushed forward. Nothing was going to stop her now. It just couldn’t. Xena couldn’t imagine a world without her brother in it, and she wouldn’t let herself imagine it either. _

_ Until, suddenly, the battle for air stopped. Her brother, someone she loved more than anyone in the world, was gone. The screaming that followed as she placed Lyceus next to a tree seemed to belong to someone else entirely, going on for what felt like an eternity.  _

_ It didn’t matter that her voice was likely to alert the others to her location now, she would have welcomed death in an instant. She didn’t want to feel anything anymore. Death, in all the ways she had feared it before, would have been a blessing now. _

_ Until finally, she couldn’t scream anymore, and she just cradled her brother in her arms. “I’m so sorry Lyceus,” she repeated over and over. It felt like the world had ended, nothing else in life could ever matter again, not with her brother gone. _

_ _

The memory stopped at once and Xena felt all of the pain she had felt before, the same hopeless feeling of devastation. She continued forward with more force, hoping she would reach the castle soon, and fearing whatever memory would come next.


	9. Chapter 9

“Just because she never showed up on the train, doesn’t mean something happened,” Marnie said, as part of what was probably the hundreth attempt to cheer Gabrielle up. “If anything, I’m sure she’ll turn up in the next few days. Traveling by foot can take an awfully long time.”

“You may be right,” Gabrielle said, though she didn’t believe the likelihood was very high. “Thanks Marnie.”

It didn’t matter how many times Marnie said the words aloud, Gabrielle wasn’t going to feel better until she saw Xena was safe with her own two eyes, words just weren’t enough.

“Xena this, Xena that,” Lila said suddenly. “I’m sick of hearing about her!”

“Sweet Dionysus Lila, show some tact. Xena’s missing, for all we know she could be -” Marnie stopped quickly, “...it’s perfectly understandable why Gabrielle would be worried about her.”

“She missed the train, so what? She’s probably just running late, we nearly missed the train ourselves and we had nothing standing in our way -”

Marnie stood up angrily. “You know what, Lila, you are acting like a complete and total bitch. It’s no wonder Gabrielle wanted to spend the summer away from you!”

That was enough to send Lila to her feet as well. “I’m switching compartments,” she announced, and before Gabrielle could chase after her, Lila had slammed the door shut behind her.

If she hadn’t spent all her energy worrying about Xena, Gabrielle would have gone after her, but she couldn’t muster the motivation to chase after another one of her sister’s angry tirades when she knew nothing she said would help the matter anyway.

“Hey Gabrielle, I’m sorry for what I said about Xena. I really do believe she’ll be okay, the words just slipped out and -”

“It’s alright,” Gabrielle said, though the words had made her feel worse. She tried to sound hopeful, “we’re not far from the school now. Maybe she’ll be there for the feast.” 

Gabrielle could imagine it now, Xena quietly sneaking into the Great Hall, and Gabrielle spotting her next to all the other Slytherins. She knew Xena would wave back at her with sincerity this time, unlike last year when she’d barely allowed her a glance. It was strange to think of how far they’d come as friends since the day they’d met exactly a year ago. Gabrielle had only dreamed of becoming involved in her life back then and now, she couldn’t imagine life without her. She didn’t want to imagine it either.

When they finally arrived at the school, Gabrielle tasked Marnie with looking after Lila Even if Lila wouldn’t speak to her, Caprise had been right, someone needed to look out for her younger sister.

Once she was sure Marnie and Lila had made it safely to the boats she made her way to the path all other students were ordered to take so they could arrive at the castle separate from the first years. A group of thestrals, which were creatures similar to winged horses, were attached to stagecoaches and waiting for the students to board them. Despite their likeness to horses, thestrals appeared severely undernourished compared to their counterparts, almost as if there was no muscle at all to separate bone from skin.

Gabrielle wished she had the luxury of not being able to see them like most of the students around her. Anyone who had witnessed death was said to be able to see them, and Gabrielle had seen a number of deaths by now, one of which happened in Potadeia when she was younger, and many others throughout her time with Xena. She certainly met the requirements for seeing them.

“Gabrielle!” A boy with a brown fedora hat and huge smile came rushing towards her excitedly. Gabrielle welcomed him into a hug immediately.

“Adonis,” she said warmly. “How was your trip back home?”

“Somber,” he admitted, his smile replaced with sadness, “but it was very therapeutic. I needed it, and so did Talus’s family.”

Hearing his name instantly brought back some of the memories Gabrielle had experienced with Talus. It had been so long ago now, but she still remembered much of the feelings she had towards him as if it had been days since she’d had them. 

“Talus would be so proud of you,” Gabrielle said. She knew how hard it had been for Adonis growing up, and she could only imagine the painful memories it must have brought back for him to return to the place where most of that pain had been inflicted.

“Yeah well, it never took much to impress him. He was a big softy,” Adonis said, though it was clear he wanted to change the subject. “I hope you’ll be coming to the party tonight. It’s going to be a wild one, we’re meeting down in one of the abandoned dungeon rooms.” He leaned down to whisper in Gabrielle’s ear, “I’ll be in charge of the drinks.”

Gabrielle gave a small smile. “It sounds lovely, and I told Ephiny I would go but...I’m not sure I’m in the mood for it now.”

She didn’t think she could stomach an entire evening of pretending she was fine and that nothing was weighing on her mind.

“Really? Why in Merlin’s beard not?” 

“Xena was meant to meet me on the train, and I haven’t seen her anywhere,” Gabrielle said. “She went off to do something dangerous, and I let her go alone. It’s not like her to not show up when she says she will.”

“Well the night is still young,” Adonis said. “You should come to the party. It’ll take your mind off those worries, and if Xena shows up before then, you’ll be able to come and just have a fun time.”

He was right, if Xena showed up then there would be nothing to worry about, and if she didn’t, maybe it would provide the distraction she needed. The least she could do was try.

“Alright,” Gabrielle said at once.

During the ride to the castle, Adonis filled Gabrielle in on his summer, and she’d filled him in on hers.

Once they arrived at the castle, the students were ushered into the great hall, only this time Gabrielle wasn’t waiting to be sorted. Instead, she took a seat next to the hufflepuffs around her. 

Throughout the ceremony, Gabrielle searched for Xena, but as Gabrielle expected, she was nowhere to be found. She tried to focus on Marnie and Lila who were being sorted into their houses, but she couldn’t help but feel a growing worry about her missing friend.

_ Where are you Xena? Why aren’t you here yet? _

Just as Gabrielle had suspected, Marnie was sorted into Gryffindor house. She seemed to fit in immediately with the amazons at the table, almost like she was already a part of their club. Lila’s sorting was more of a surprise, Gabrielle had expected her in Hufflepuff as well, but instead, she was sorted into Ravenclaw. She’d also secretly been hoping for it. If Lila had been sorted into the same house as her, at least she would have more opportunities to get back on Lila’s good side.

After what felt like an eternity, the feast finally commenced and Gabrielle made her way to the dungeons. It wasn’t difficult to locate the party as a rather loud arrangement of music was leaking through the walls, instantly betraying its location.

“Gabrielle, you made it!” Adonis said as soon as she’d stepped inside. He handed her a tray of glowing drinks with little water droplets hopping from cup to cup, like mini sparklers. Clearly he had enchanted the water to dance around like that, and Gabrielle was impressed with his ability to do so, though she wasn’t interested in drinking any of it at the moment. She smiled and pushed the tray back towards him. 

“No Xena?” he asked.

Gabrielle shook her head.

“Well one of these might help,” he said, pushing the tray back towards her. Maybe the drinking would have helped, but the last time Gabrielle had tried an alcoholic beverage things hadn’t turned out very well. Besides, she wanted to stay clear headed in case she got word from Xena. “You sure, Gabrielle?”

“I think I’ll stay alcohol free a little while longer,” she said. “But they look delicious,” she added, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

“I’m gonna pass these around a bit,” he said. “But I’ll be back soon, okay? Sit tight and we can talk some more.”

“Alright,” Gabrielle said, as he walked away. She wandered around for a few moments trying her best to fit in amongst the others and have some fun, but nothing she did was able to take her mind off Xena’s absence.

Unable to stand it any longer, Gabrielle decided it was time to go back to the common room. She knew it would be rude to leave without saying goodbye so she searched for Ephiny or Adonis.

It wasn’t hard to spot Ephiny. She was standing near the wall next to two amazon girls, and it was clear they were all acting as guardians to watch over the students in case anything got out of hand. Despite having a drink in their hands, none of them appeared very drunk at all, though Gabrielle wasn’t surprised. They all seemed the type that could hold their liquor down well, it was something she had noticed with Xena too. The other amazons in the room who were either mingling or dancing appeared much tipsier than the three standing guard, but Gabrielle knew being strong didn’t automatically equal being able to drink large quantities of alcohol without getting drunk, although most of them did appear the least muscular of the amazons.

Ephiny smiled and gave a small wave as she noticed Gabrielle walking towards her. “Have you found Xena?”

“There’s been no sign of her all day,” Gabrielle said. “I really wanted to stay longer, Ephiny, and this party is absolutely wonderful, but I’m a bit tired and think I ought to head back to the common room.”

Ephiny gave Gabrielle a look that she understood completely. “Hey, she still may show up. Xena’s strong. If there’s anyone who can fight off Alti, it’s her.”

“Thanks Ephiny,” Gabrielle said, sharing a parting hug.

She said goodbye to Adonis as well, and even though he was much more hesitant about her leaving, he seemed to understand the reasoning and eventually gave up on convincing her to stay.

Once Gabrielle had made her way to the common room and recited the password to enter, she heard a strange noise as the portrait swung open for her to enter. From the distance she was at, she could see someone sitting in one of the chairs next to the fire, but she couldn’t make out who it was because their back was facing her. She took another step.

_ Could that be…? Had she just arrived and decided to meet in the common room instead? _

“Xena?” Gabrielle asked at once. But as she got close enough to spot the source of the sound, the golden blonde hair and pink sleeves alerted her that it was definitely not Xena. She felt her heart slow in an instant. She tried not to sound disappointed as she asked, “Aphrodite? Why are you here and not at the party?”

A party seemed right up the love goddesses alley, especially when that love goddess was Aphrodite.

For a moment, Aphrodite didn’t say a word. Gabrielle wondered what could be wrong until she saw a white crumpled tissue being thrown behind the seat. The strange noise she had heard was Aphrodite crying.

Maybe talking to Aphrodite would be better at keeping her mind off Xena than the party was. “What’s wrong?”

“Nobody likes me! It’s like I’m - I’m - oh I don’t know, a freak or something?” Aphrodite blew her nose with vigor and tossed another tissue behind her, narrowly missing Gabrielle on its way to the ground. “I’m the prettiest girl in school, shouldn’t that mean something? Gods I’m a mess, a hot, hot mess. See, I’m even beautiful when I cry.” Her sobbing grew louder.

“People do like you,” Gabrielle said, though she knew the  _ number _ of people was probably very small. “And it’s not as though everyone likes me either, it just takes time to build friendships.”

“Yeah well, you’ve got that whole nice girl thing I’ll never understand the appeal of,” Aphrodite said. “Somehow it makes you more attractive or something. I don’t know, could never really figure that one out. Now bad boys, I can see the appeal of that.”

Gabrielle wasn’t sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

“And the worst part about it is, some of the boys don’t even want to jump into bed with me. Can you believe that? Someone like me? I should be part of everyone’s fantasy, I mean, just look at me.” Another tissue went flying backwards, only this time it landed on Gabrielle’s arm. Disgusted and not interested in getting hit with another one of Aphrodite’s used tissues, Gabrielle made her way to the empty seat beside her.

“If you want people to like you more, you have to be a little less self-involved,” Gabrielle said. “Doing things that help other people may be a good start.”

“So, what? I have to be boring just for people to like me?” she asked, her face wrinkling into a frown. She thought about it for a moment and hesitated before saying, “well...I guess I could give it a try.” Her expression looked as though Gabrielle had just asked her to jab two very sharp scissors into her eyes.

“For the record, Aphrodite, I already consider you a friend,” Gabrielle said, even though she wasn’t even sure herself why she felt that way. She was sure the love goddess had a heart somewhere, she just had a hard time showing it beneath all the narcissism. “I can help you give it a try, if you’d like.”

For a brief moment, Gabrielle thought she saw a look of relief and gratefulness in Aphrodite’s eyes, but she quickly reverted to her flippant self. Gabrielle stood to leave, figuring that was all the contribution she could offer, when suddenly Aphrodite asked, “soooooo, where’s your tall dark and gorgeous gal pal?”

“I don’t know,” Gabrielle said, and suddenly she was back in the seat again, all of her feelings pouring out at once. “I had this horrible nightmare a few nights ago that something happened to her, now it’s been almost impossible to ignore the feeling that she needs my help. I know it sounds crazy, but the nightmare - well, it just felt so real, and I can’t describe why. But Xena’s strong, and I have to trust that she’s okay. If I went back now I could mess everything up, especially if she’s in the middle of something requiring all of her focus. If I broke that now, just because of some silly nightmare - ”

“Oh no, that was no nightmare, honey,” Aphrodite cut in. “If soulmates spend enough lifetimes together, they start to sense when the other is in pain. That’s what you were feeling.”

“How do you know we’re soulmates?” Gabrielle asked.

It just didn’t seem true, of all the people Xena’s soul would be attracted to, Gabrielle never would have pictured her own. They were so different from one another, it just didn’t seem to fit. In fact, she still had trouble wrapping her head around Xena’s willingness to let Gabrielle tag along on her adventures in the first place. 

“Hello, Goddess of Love here, that’s kinda my thing. And let me tell you, I could sense the energy off you two like a couple of firecrackers. Ooh boy. Not to mention the huge crush you had on her. Who can blame you though? And her brother Toris - with that long mussed up hair? Sexy sure runs in the family.”

“Crush? Me? No I - I don’t have a crush on Xena,” Gabrielle sputtered. “There’s no way I - I mean we’re just friends, that’s all it is.” 

She’d always expected the strong feelings she had towards Xena to be purely based on admiration for how strong and intelligent she was. Sure she knew there was a little more to it than that, but to have romantic feelings for her?

Aphrodite gave a small girly laugh, “oh please, what world are you living in? Even someone without my powers could sense it.”

But the more she thought about it, the more Gabrielle wondered if it was true. It was as if by just hearing the words aloud, some of the unexplainable feelings she had for Xena had an explanation after all, just one she hadn’t expected.

It didn’t matter because it was only a crush, and Gabrielle was sure just about everyone who met Xena developed some sort of crush on her, how couldn’t they? What was important was whether or not she was safe.

Then, as she slowly started realizing Aphrodite’s words about them being soulmates could be true as well, Gabrielle suddenly felt like she’d been thrown off a cliff, crashing to the ground with nothing to catch her. That meant that Xena was in trouble and Gabrielle had sensed it all along. What was worse, that nightmare had been days ago... 

She needed to find Xena, and fast.


	10. Chapter 10

_ “I’m begging you - stop this!” _

_ Xena stared down at the man kneeling before her. There were tears in his eyes and his face was an angry red from all the pain he had endured. If it had been someone less deserving of this torture, Xena would have been sickened by the sight of someone in such pain, but it felt good, powerful...like Xena was in absolute control. _

_ “Please, I can’t take anymore of this!” He shook his head, the veins along his temple and forehead were throbbing and sweat ran all along his face. He was a coward, Xena could tell. That’s why he always sent his men to do his dirty work for him. “Whatever it is you want - I’ll give it to you. My men have bags and bags of jewels. They cost a fortune.” _

_ “You mean these?” she asked, holding the bags of money, which had been hidden behind her cloak, into the air like a trophy. Xena raised her wand again. Lao Ma had taught her how to cast without using wands or saying the spell aloud, but this was a way for her to maintain the fear in him. _

_ “Alright - hold on just -” _

_ She silenced his screams once again with the silencing charm. The townsfolk would have found them in an instant if they heard what was going on. Luckily, when Xena wasn’t casting the Cruciatus curse, Cortese feared for his life so badly that he wouldn’t dare cry for help; she only needed to quiet him when he had no voluntary control over his screaming. _

_ “Why? Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice raw and weak. “You’re just a child.” _

_ “Not anymore,” Xena said. “But I was. You stole any chance I had of a normal childhood.” _

_ “I don’t understand,” he said. _

_ “You made the order for your men to kill me and my brother,” Xena said. “It was so easy for you. Like it meant nothing for you to murder young children.” _

_ Before Cortese could respond Xena cast the Cruciatus curse again. Just then, the flaps keeping the tent closed were pushed open and Xena caught a glimpse of a small figure from the corner of her eye. _

_ “Daddy!” _

_ Xena stopped at once, staring at the young girl who had entered, her dark brown eyes staring up at Xena with fear and anger. _

_ Xena had never imagined an innocent person would get involved. The plan was only to attack those she knew had taken part in Lyceus’s death.  _

_ “Go,” Xena said. What could she say to make the girl leave? She had to do something. “Your daddy will be just fine. We’re doing a few exercises to keep him strong, and then when he’s done he’ll come right back home to see you, okay?” _

_ “I don’t believe you!” Camila shouted. She ran forward, but Xena raised her arm and held her back with as little force as was necessary to keep her back. Camila continued to struggle but Xena was much stronger. _

_ “Camila, leave,” Cortese cried out. _

_ “No! What are you doing to him?” she asked. “I saw you kill those other men.” _

_ Xena’s heart sank. She should have been paying more attention to what was going on around her. She’d been so angry, so bent on hurting the men that had hurt her, she had no idea the young girl had witnessed her killings. _

_ “You shouldn’t be here,” Xena said at once. She hated to use her magic on the small girl but if she continued to scream someone would hear her, they probably already had.  _

_ Xena had waited years for this day. She’d become obsessed with the idea of revenge, and she knew it, but it didn’t matter. Cortese had ripped apart her life. She had to kill him or the obsession for revenge would never end. _

_ As Camila continued trying to push past Xena, her cries getting louder, Xena had no choice but to cast Silencio on her too. She was running out of options now, if Camila had spotted her so easily it was likely others would too, not to mention the screaming alerting others in the area. This was her only chance. She couldn’t let Cortese run after this. Hours of torture weren’t enough to make him pay for all the suffering he had caused Xena. _

_ Then she returned to Cortese, her feelings of burning hatred returning as soon as her gaze met his. He was the reason Cyrene hated her, the reason Toris couldn’t bear to look at her. He was the reason she would never see Lyceus grow to be the honorable man she knew he was destined to be. She wanted to do so much more than cast one last spell on Cortese, but that would have pushed her past the point of return. She needed to end it now. _

_ “AVADA KEDAVRA,” Xena’s voice rang out. She raced to cover Camila’s eyes as the green light shot through her wand. Camila tried to push her hand away but Xena wouldn’t let her, she prayed to the Gods she had gotten to her in time. _

_ As Xena glanced back at the lifeless form crumpled unnaturally to the ground, she felt a strange mixture of emotions. She couldn’t tell if it was a mixture of pride and relief, or disgust and shame - or maybe a combination of them all.  _

_ Xena had expected to feel a large weight off her shoulders, and she did, but there was something else there too. A new weight, causing her to question whether she made the right decision. _

_ Xena pushed the question away. There was no taking back what she had done, she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on it any longer. Besides, it was too late for her. She had already lost the ability to become a good person when she got Lyceus killed. It had been too late for her, she realized, but by killing Cortese at least she had rid the world of other children getting murdered by his command - and of other children growing up like Xena, drowning in the loss of their loved one. _

_ Xena undid the silencing charm from Camila, the sound of the young girl’s screams tearing through her. She didn’t care if she was caught now. All that mattered was she had ended Cortese’s life. _

_ Then she ran from the tent, not able to watch the girl as she wept over her dead father’s body, having no idea the horrible man he truly was. If she let herself truly think about what she had done to Camila’s life, it would only make her question her decision more. _

_ Seconds later a group of four men dressed in uniform Apparated before her. They seemed surprised as they spotted Xena, likely due to her young age, but they only suffered a moment’s hesitation before holding out a pair of magic inhibiting handcuffs. Xena did not resist as they placed the glowing metal bars along her hands and locked them in place. _

_ “You are under arrest for the use of unforgivable curses and will be awaiting trial to determine a punishment fit for your crimes.”  _

Suddenly, Xena was transported to the next memory, and it wasn’t long before she recognized it. _ _

_ She was in a large room now, surrounded by several rows of chairs that circled the center floor. A single chair sat in the center, where Xena was seated, hundreds of eyes focusing on her. Directly across from Xena, in the tallest chair of the room was the judge, who stared down at Xena with a mixture of contempt and sympathy. _

_ Xena glanced around the room. She was certain that at the very least, Lao Ma was in the crowd somewhere - that she would understand why Xena had chosen to do what she did. There were so many faces around, it would have been easy to miss her. _

_ “I understand you are 15 years old,” the judge said, and Xena nodded. “Where did you learn such dark spells?” _

_ Xena couldn’t reveal where she had truly learned the spells, so she settled for a lie instead. “The man I killed...Cortese. He trained me.” _

_ “Yet you used his training against him?” the judge asked. _

_ “He killed my brother,” Xena said. “I had no choice.” _

_ “Oh you had a choice alright,” the judge said. “And unfortunately you made the wrong one. I understand the thirst for vengeance, but that does not mean you must act on that feeling. Now, I hate to send a child to Azkaban, we’ve never done so before, but you are wielding dangerous magic and a clear lack of conscience. Unless someone is willing to speak on your behalf and convince me otherwise, you will be given two options: you will be sent to Azkaban or you will be changed into a muggle. In which case, you will never practice magic again.” _

_ Fear started settling in as she considered the possibilities. Azkaban was known for being unmerciful to its inhabitants, but Xena couldn’t fathom a world where she was weak and powerless. She needed that strength and control, it was all she had left. _

_ “I will now ask the court, would anyone here like to speak on Xena’s behalf and argue a lesser sentence?” _

_ Xena glanced around the room once more, wondering if she had missed someone hidden amongst the crowd, but she didn’t recognize a single face surrounding her. Xena’s heart sank as she realized she had been wrong, nobody was there to support her after all. Not Lao Ma, Cyrene, Toris, or Lao Ma’s daughters - she even held a small shred of hope that her father would attend the hearing, but he hadn’t. Nobody had come to vouch for the goodness inside of Xena, because nobody believed there was any. _

_ “I repeat, is anyone willing to speak on Xena’s behalf?” There was a moments silence before the judge returned his gaze to Xena. “What option will you decide?” _

_ Defeated, Xena fought back the tears that were threatening to reveal themselves and sat up taller. “Azkaban,” she said, her voice lacking every bit of emotion she was feeling. _

_ “Brave choice,” the judge remarked. “You don’t look scared. I wonder, young girl, is there any humanity inside you?”  _

_ Xena didn’t answer, though she wondered the same thing herself. _

_ “I supposed there probably couldn’t be any humanity inside you, to do what you did.” The loud banging of his gavel on the chunk of wood before him rang throughout the courthouse. “You will serve one month in Azkaban. In which case we will decide whether your sentence is to be extended or revoked. Enjoy your sentence Xena, may it invoke some humanity inside you.” _

Xena broke from the memory. She was getting closer to the castle now. She needed to move past her feelings and keep going.

_ It was a dark and rainy night, the night she had been officially released from Azkaban. Her visit to Azkaban had been more terrifying than she ever could have imagined. As much as she would never admit it to anyone, she desperately wanted someone in her life again.  _

_ During her time in prison, she had held onto some hope that Lao Ma would forgive her if she explained why she had killed Cortese, it was the only thing that kept her going. Maybe the shock had been too much for Lao Ma at the time, but she’d been given a chance to process all of it now, and Xena prayed it was enough to help her forgive her for what she had done. _

_ She knocked on the door as soon as she reached the doorstep to Lao Ma’s house. Her entire body was shivering to keep warm, but she didn’t care.  _

_ Footsteps echoed from behind the door. The sound of locks being unlatched rang out and Xena’s breath was caught in a sea of anticipation. It had been about 2 months since she last saw Lao Ma, but her time in Azkaban had gone on so slowly it felt like an eternity ago. _

_ “It’s awfully late for - ” Lao Ma stopped as soon as she realized it was Xena. _

_ “I came to set things straight,” Xena said, quickly. “The reason I killed Cortese -” _

_ “I know why you did it,” Lao Ma snapped, and Xena stood frozen in place. The anger in her face made her look like an entirely different person, Xena had never seen such hate in Lao Ma’s eyes.  _

_ As she went to close the door Xena rushed forward. _

_ “Please - I didn’t do it out of pleasure. I did it because I was never going to sleep at night if I didn’t make him pay for what he did,” the desperation in her voice was almost as unrecognizable as Ma’s anger. Xena hadn’t felt this vulnerable in years, she hadn’t allowed herself to be. “He took the life I was supposed to have away from me.” _

_ “You had a new life and family,” Lao Ma said. “But that wasn’t enough.” _

_ “It was enough,” Xena said, “but I couldn’t get Cortese out of my mind. Whenever I closed my eyes he was there. Besides, he was a monster, he killed innocent people, if I didn’t end his life -” _

_ Lao Ma cut in forcefully, “I won’t argue that Cortese deserved to die, but he didn’t deserve to die by your hands. Not with the spells I taught you. How could you disgrace all that I’ve done for you?” _

_ Lao Ma’s words were like a stab of ice puncturing her heart. She hadn’t expected to hear those words from someone who had become a mother to her, someone she sought approval from, someone who now thought she was a disgrace. “I never meant to dishonor you. Becoming part of this family was the greatest thing that happened to me after losing Lyceus. It gave me hope and happiness, something I never thought I would feel again. Please forgive me. I miss the life I have here.” There were tears in her eyes now as she spoke more openly than she had ever done before. “I can’t be alone again.” _

_ There was a silence and Xena thought she saw a look of consideration in Lao Ma’s eyes, but she grabbed the door once again. “You are no longer welcome in this home, Xena.” _

_ Lao Ma turned and didn’t look back as she slammed the door shut. Then, Xena fell to her knees. She didn’t have the strength to stand any longer, or to stop herself from breaking down and sobbing. All hope of happiness she had forced herself to hold onto was gone. _

Xena finally separated from the latest memory, the drawbridge was only a few strokes away now. She rushed forward and pulled herself out of the water. Then she made her way through the entrance. The memories had been as painful as Xena remembered, but she somehow had to push forward. At least she had a goal to focus on, and hope that she could save Gabrielle if she were in trouble. It was more than she had in the years before Gabrielle had entered her life, and she held onto it with all the strength she had inside her.

Hades eyes widened in surprise as Xena wandered inside, he stood tall and regal, like Xena had just joined him for a fancy feast. The three guards standing beside him stepped forward.

“What reason do you have for coming here?” He looked to be about the age of 30, though Xena knew he was probably closer to several thousand years old. 

Despite his younger appearance, Xena knew he was older than many of the Gods. Several years ago, just before Xena was born, a war had been waged on the Gods spanning 7 years, and those who had been killed in the process were reborn again. It was the reason Ares and Aphrodite were much younger than their counterparts.

“I came to see if my friend will be joining me in Tartarus,” Xena said.

“She will not,” Hades said, and Xena let go of the breath she’d been holding.

“How can I speak to The Fates?” she asked at once. Hades only knew of souls being sent to Tartarus. The Fates could tell her if Gabrielle was going to die by Alti’s hands at the train station, and she could do everything in her power to make sure that didn’t happen.

“You can’t,” Hades said. “The minute you were earned a spot Tartarus, you relinquished your rights to visit them.”

Xena wasn’t going to give up that easily. “There must be a way.”

“Well...there is one possibility, assuming you’ll be willing to accept it,” Hades said. “My sister Demeter stole my crown as a cruel joke and tossed it into a lake of scorching hot water. I do not wish to expose myself to such pain. This crown I can live without, however, if you were to retrieve it for me I would allow you safe passage to speak with The Fates. You should know if you do accept this, the pain you experience will be infinitely greater than your trip across the Moat of Despair. The lake contains more than unbearable heat, it is cursed to bestow everlasting torment in the afterlife of anyone choosing to swim through it.”

“Where can I find this lake?” Xena asked.

“This friend must mean a great deal to you,” he said, surprised. “It’s across the Barren Fields. You may take the back entrance of this castle. It will be faster, and you’ll be able to avoid another trip to the Moat of Despair.”

His guards opened the door for Xena and allowed her to walk past. She stopped for a moment, but before she could ask what she wanted to ask, Hades smiled. “You can rest easy. Neither Marcus or Lyceus were sent here.”

“Thank you,” Xena said. She had never expected Lyceus to be sent to Tartarus but she had to be sure. Knowing they were both in the Elysian fields was a great relief. With a newfound sense of hope, she made her way outside.


	11. Chapter 11

It wasn’t long before Gabrielle had packed everything she needed to leave Hogwarts and search for Xena. She only grabbed the essentials, not willing to waste time on anything else.

Gabrielle raced down the hall, only slowing her pace when passing any professors who were wandering around. Images of Xena being injured tore through her mind. She tried forcing them away but more returned in their place.  _ I sensed she was in trouble and ignored it,  _ she thought angrily.

Gabrielle had no intentions of stopping, until suddenly she ran past the Potions classroom, catching the smallest glimpse of someone inside. For a brief second she thought it was Xena, but when she looked closer she realized it was the new Potions professor. As he turned to work on some books Gabrielle was able to get a better look at him. There was certainly a resemblance to Xena, with his long dark hair, strong body, and striking blue eyes. Then Gabrielle remembered Xena mentioning her brother Toris. Was this him?

_ Maybe he’ll want to help find Xena,  _ Gabrielle thought quickly. It couldn’t hurt to ask, especially when his help could mean the difference between Xena living and dying. Gabrielle knew better than to believe she was strong enough to face any obstacles that stood in her way - she needed all the help she could get.

“Are you going to stand there all day or is there something you need?”

“Yes, sorry - are you Xena’s brother?” Gabrielle asked, quickly making her way inside.

“I was,” he said, his voice cold and emotionless.

Gabrielle had no time to waste with niceties. “I know you haven’t been close to Xena in years, but I have strong reason to believe she’s in trouble. Serious trouble.”

“She’s always in trouble,” Toris said. “If you haven’t anything new to share with me, I’ve got work to do…”

“You don’t understand, I think she’s in more danger than she’s ever been in before,” Gabrielle said. “She could be dying as we speak - and I thought you might like to know - ”

“Xena means nothing to me,” Toris said, not even flinching at Gabrielle’s words. 

“How can you say that about your own sister?” Gabrielle asked, caught off guard by his complete lack of care for Xena. She couldn’t imagine ever feeling that way about Lila, no matter how big of a fight they were in. 

“She hasn’t been my sister in years,” Toris said. He closed the book he’d been glancing at and stared into Gabrielle’s eyes with a look of seriousness, one that was quite similar to the look she had received from Xena on many occasions. “I would bet a thousand drachmas on the reason she hasn’t returned to Hogwarts this year. She ran off somewhere. Xena always runs. It’s what she does best.”

“She wouldn’t do that to me,” Gabrielle said forcefully, though the smallest seed of doubt suddenly surfaced in her mind.  _ What if Xena has run off? What if she got tired of me and wanted to return to the lonely life she had before?  _ Gabrielle hated to think it was even possible, her friendship with Xena had felt so real...

“I’ve known Xena much longer than you - it’s all she’s ever done when things get too much for her,” Toris said.

“Xena tried to return home,” Gabrielle said, exasperated by his continuously callous attitude. “You and your mother turned her down. Of course she would run off, she was just a child - scared and abandoned by her family. If either one of you would have let her back into your lives she would have been a completely different person. She wouldn’t have suffered as much as she did - ”

“Do NOT speak of something you don’t know,” he snapped. “Xena didn’t deserve to be back in our lives. She’s really got you fooled if you think she’s the victim in all this. The things she’s done - well, I’m sure she hasn’t shared it all with you. She’d want to appear as innocent as possible.”

“She has shared it with me,” Gabrielle said. “I know about Cortese and his men - about her time in Azkaban. I know she blames herself for Lyceus when it wasn’t her fault. Those things she did were because she was acting out on her emotions, but she wants to do better. She has been doing better.”

To Gabrielle’s surprise, Toris suddenly let out a small chuckle. “Is that all she’s told you? Let me inform you of something little girl, there’s always two sides to every story. Xena’s left some details out to make herself look better. She’s not a good person, and that will never change. The sooner you accept that the better off you’ll be.”

_ What could be worse than torturing and killing men?  _ Gabrielle wondered.

“Maybe she has kept some things from me,” Gabrielle said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s trying to do better now. All she’s ever needed was someone to give her a chance, and I’m not giving up on her now like everyone else in her life has.”

“You’ll find out sooner or later,” he said.

“Xena is a good person,” Gabrielle said. “I know it in my heart.”

With that, Gabrielle left. At this point, she knew Toris was going to be of no help to her. It didn’t matter at this point, if Toris wasn’t going to help Gabrielle would just have to do it on her own.

As Gabrielle made her way out, her mind was still reeling at how cruel Toris had been. No wonder why Xena doubted herself so much, she’d been treated like a monster - but Gabrielle knew better. All the people she had saved over the summer, her sacrificing of the Taelamon Ruby...she was far from a monster.

Whatever Xena had done in the past, she wasn’t that person anymore. Gabrielle had seen it with her own eyes.  _ Please be okay, Xena,  _ she thought as she raced down the hall. Then, suddenly, Gabrielle stopped as a strange noise flashed behind her.

“Whatever it is you’re doing Ares, I don’t have time for it,” she said, not bothering to turn around and face him.

“Oh I think you can make time for this. It involves Xena.”

Gabrielle’s heart stopped for a moment. 

“Do you know what’s happened to her?” she asked at once.

“That’s why I’m here. I thought you could help me out. We both know Xena and I are a match made in the Elysian Fields.” Ares paused, clearly waiting for Gabrielle’s annoyed reaction. “Obviously I can’t form an alliance with someone languishing in Tartarus. But, if we make a deal with The Fates to bring her back, Xena and I can finally come together.”

“Xena’s in Tartarus?” Was Ares lying? Gabrielle didn’t trust him for a second. “How do I know this isn’t one of your elaborate schemes to get rid of me?”

Ares held out his hand. “See for yourself.”

Gabrielle hesitated for a moment, Ares had the power to send her anywhere he wanted. It wouldn’t have been difficult for him to eliminate her from the picture by sending her to the Underworld or some other hellish dimension, all so he could have Xena to himself. But if he was telling the truth, Gabrielle needed to see Xena…

Once Gabrielle had grabbed his hand, an instant spinning sensation overwhelmed her until finally she found herself in the woods. Unable to stop herself, she fell to her knees, waiting for the dizziness to stop.

“Mortals are so weak,” Ares scoffed. “Never could see what Xena saw in you.”

As soon as the nausea had passed, Gabrielle was on her feet, running forward blindly, Ares running casually behind her. She recognized the area, but she couldn’t remember how close it was to where they had set up camp. And surely, Xena had moved from their original location to avoid being caught before she could perform whatever spell she had planned on performing.

“Xena? XENA!” she called out. She continued yelling her name, but there was no response.  _ Why isn’t she answering? Is Ares telling the truth?  _ Gabrielle felt sick thinking about it.  _ No, Xena’s alive. She has to be. _ She turned on the God of War, who was remaining unhelpfully silent. “Where is she, Ares?”

Ares pointed forward and Gabrielle spotted her at once. A different kind of nausea swept through her as she raced to the body that lay motionless in the grass. Then finally, she could see it; the angry bruising on Xena’s neck from where someone had strangled her, her head bent unnaturally to the side. It was clear somebody had snapped her neck. Gabrielle looked away for a moment.

“Xena?” Gabrielle’s voice caught in shock. She reached for her friend’s hand, tears streaming down her face. “I should have been here,” she said angrily. “I should have been by your side. Why didn’t you let me stay?”

This was all Gabrielle’s fault, she’d blindly followed Xena’s orders without fighting for her right to stay. Now her friend was dead. She wiped more tears from her eyes and whirled around to face Ares. He had a strangely satisfied look in his eyes, but all that mattered to Gabrielle now was Xena. “The Fates? You said they could bring her back?”

“They  _ might  _ be willing to make a deal. If you’re willing to sacrifice something.”

“I am,” Gabrielle said, at once. “Take me to them.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Ares held out his hand and Gabrielle took it without hesitation. She couldn’t bear to look at Xena’s lifeless form for another second.

The strange spinning returned and Gabrielle was on her knees again, only this time she was kneeling on a shiny marble floor. When she finally had the strength to look up there were a group of three women spooling thread in a line, all of varying ages.

“A mortal and a God, what warrants this visit?” one of The Fates asked.

“I want to make a deal,” Gabrielle said.

“A deal? For what?” another Fate asked.

“My friend’s life,” Gabrielle said. “I want to bring her back.”

“Who will you be offering in return?” the first Fate asked. “To restore a life, one must be taken.”

“I have to sacrifice someone else?” Gabrielle asked. She didn’t expect the sacrifice would have to be another human being.

“If you wish to bring your friend back, then yes. You understand, our role is to maintain balance in the world.”

“Isn’t there another way?” Gabrielle asked. “I’ll do anything else -”

“Imagine if we let you restore your friend’s life and others discovered this. We would be receiving a flood of requests from all around the world. It would be chaos. As Fates, we are to remain neutral. It is our duty to maintain balance.”

“Ares has already taken hundreds of lives against our jurisdiction, we have no intentions of doing him any favors,” the second fate said angrily, eyeing Ares who rolled his eyes.

Gods were able to take lives outside of The Fates’ decisions, and Gabrielle could only imagine how many Ares had sacrificed in all the battles he led around the world.

“I can’t sacrifice someone else - “ Gabrielle said, shaking her head. 

“It’s easy,” Ares said. “Think of someone that’s done horrible things. A child murderer, a thief. Whatever comes to mind...”

How could Gabrielle decide something like that? She knew several individuals who classified as evil, having committed horrible acts well worthy of execution - but she didn’t truly  _ know  _ any of these people. What if they were like Xena? 

“I can’t,” Gabrielle said. “If there’s anything else - “

“A sacrifice must be made,” the third Fate said. “Otherwise, your friend will remain as she is.”

“Come on, just choose someone,” Ares said, frustration rising in his voice. “You’d really let your friend die?”

Gabrielle couldn’t sacrifice somebody else, she had no right to make that kind of decision.  _ But there is one person I could trade for Xena’s life without interfering in the lives of others, _ Gabrielle realized suddenly.

“Could I sacrifice myself?” Gabrielle asked.

Ares eyes lit up with interest. If Gabrielle wasn’t mistaken, he seemed to like that option best.

“That is a possibility. Do you truly wish to sacrifice yourself?”

Hearing the words aloud sent a new level of fear into Gabrielle - she didn’t want to die. But she couldn’t leave Xena in Tartarus. She deserved another chance, to earn her place in the Elysian Fields, to be happy…

“Yes, I’ll do it,” Gabrielle said finally.

“Excellent choice,” Ares said smugly. Gabrielle ignored him.

“Can I speak with her first?” Gabrielle asked. She wanted to tell Xena not to give up on herself. Without Gabrielle around to keep her on the right path, she was afraid Xena would revert back to her old self.

“We cannot grant you that wish,“ the first Fate said. “Be happy your friend is returning to the living, we don’t make deals of that caliber lightly.”

Gabrielle nodded, hoping beyond all hope Xena would give herself the second chance she deserved. 

“Grab the scissors and string,” the third fate said, and as she did the girls switched the spool and began pulling the new string farther. They held the large scissors over the middle and Gabrielle closed her eyes. She had never expected to die at such a young age. She was so sure she had a big life ahead of her, one where she made a big difference in the world, somehow. But maybe by saving Xena, she was fulfilling her destiny in the world.

“Wait,” Ares said. 

Gabrielle opened her eyes again. Ares had walked over to the girls and was whispering to them. The three Fates glanced at one another before finally nodding their heads.

“Looks like your lucky day, blondie,” Ares said. “You get to live a little longer.”

Gabrielle couldn’t believe her ears. Ares had made a deal to help Gabrielle? It didn’t make any sense, especially when he had so much to gain with her death.

“How long will I have?” Gabrielle asked. 

“That’s between me and the lovely ladies over here,” Ares said, the smug look returning to his face.

Maybe he was allowing her just enough time to say goodbye to Xena like she had wanted. Either way she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

“Your friend’s life will be restored. This is the last deal you will be able to make with us, we are not a charity, understood?” Gabrielle nodded. “Now please leave us to our work.”

Ares grabbed Gabrielle’s hand and soon the fancy architecture was replaced with large trees.

“Ares, I can’t begin to thank you - “

“Save it,” he said, putting his hand up. “I didn’t do it for you. If you died, Xena would be too broken up to join my side. This way I can have her all to myself.”

Without another word, Ares snapped his fingers and disappeared from view. Gabrielle couldn’t believe what had just happened. Ares of all people had just saved her life. And Xena...Xena was alive. 


	12. Chapter 12

Xena had been traveling for what felt like hours now. She would arrive at the Barren Fields before too long, but she couldn’t help but wonder how much time she had left before Gabrielle made it to the train station. While it only felt like a handful of hours had passed since Xena died, she was almost certain time passed differently in Tartarus. 

_Almost there, Gabrielle, _she thought fiercely, the only thought she had left to carry her through the wretched land surrounding her. The sound of screams ripped through the air, loud enough to drown out any other sounds. When she finally reached what she believed to be the Barren Fields, a plain filled entirely with gray, lifeless soil, Xena quickened her pace. 

Then, the gray fields before her suddenly disappeared, surrounding her in absolute darkness. _ This must be it, _Xena thought at once. She braced her mind for whatever may lay ahead. There was nothing surrounding her now, and the feeling of loneliness hit her almost immediately. Even the drab and gloomy land of Tartarus would have been more welcoming than the complete emptiness she suddenly felt. 

Xena tried moving forward. Maybe she needed to break the connection between her mind and nothingness to free herself from the fields. The sooner she found Hades crown the better. Then, a familiar voice broke through the silence, sending her into a sudden wave of alertness.

“Xena? Xena, can you hear me?”

“Gabrielle?” she tried calling out, but the sound never came out. Xena tried opening her eyes, but all she could see were endless walls of black.

_ How can Gabrielle be here? Hades said she wasn’t destined for Tartarus. He had no reason to lie. _Was this a figment of her imagination, conjured by the Barren Fields? Maybe it was Gabrielle, using her thoughts to send a message to Xena. But she had heard Gabrielle’s thoughts of Xena while she was in Tartarus and they’d come in more like a small distant echo; this was much louder - as if it were someone close by, just out of reach.

“You stay right here, alright? I’m gonna move you somewhere that’s a little more comfortable.”

Then, within seconds, the walls of darkness were gone. Everything was blurry now, a congregation of colors with no details. To her side was a figure with blonde hair, wearing blue clothing - was it Gabrielle? Xena felt a pair of hands lifting her arm gently and sliding her to something hard and rough, judging by the texture it was likely a tree. Xena was too weak to fight them off, whoever it was. She placed a hand to her head as the dizziness mixed with the blurred vision. 

“Woah, easy there.”

“What’s going on?” Xena was finally able to force out, her voice coming out hoarse and strained.

“Oh - thank the Gods! Just, be careful, try not to move too fast.” Xena felt something strange suddenly glide across her fingers, it was wet and slimy. Before she could react, the source of the wetness disappeared. “Junior, I know how much you want to see her - but we have to wait.”

Then, the blurriness suddenly began to fade and she could see the golden blonde of Gabrielle’s hair. Her bluish green eyes were swimming with concern as she quickly reached for Xena’s hand. 

“Gabrielle?” 

“Yes it’s me. Junior’s here too,” Gabrielle said gently, helping Xena to a more comfortable position. “He really missed you. And Argo was out of her tree with worry. So was I - by the Gods, you really gave us all a scare.” 

Was this part of an illusion too? It didn’t make sense for Gabrielle to be around unless she’d never left for Potadeia in the first place, but that didn’t seem likely as Xena would’ve sensed someone else had been hiding out in the woods when Alti attacked. “How do I know you’re really here?“

“Oh - that’s easy...I can just tell you something you don’t know about me. Like you did when I was trapped in the dream world,” Gabrielle said. “Hmm...let’s see...oh, umm, have I told you why my grandfather has a bum leg? He got a horrible infection during the war and after the doctor treated him, it’s never been the same since. Does that sound familiar?”

Xena nodded.

“Okay...” Gabrielle looked around. “I think this might be a new one - did I tell you the reason I wanted you to train me when we first met at the train station?”

“You wanted to be able to stand up for yourself,” Xena said.

“That’s right. Did I ever tell you why?” When Xena’s expression indicated that she hadn’t, Gabrielle continued. “There was this boy in town, Aesop. He used to bully a group of kids that I told stories to every afternoon. Until one day, another boy my age, Jason, stood up to him. Aesop started hitting him, and Jason, who was much weaker than Aesop, didn’t stand a chance. I tried to intervene, but all it took was a few punches and I was on the ground, useless. Aesop kept going until finally...” Gabrielle closed her eyes, as if reliving the memories. Xena placed a hand on her shoulder and Gabrielle continued, “Jason died. I don’t think Aesop meant to go that far, but since that day, I’ve always wished I could’ve stopped him. That I could’ve done something to save his life.”

“I’m sorry that happened, Gabrielle. You’ve proven to be the bravest person I know. Sometimes there is nothing you can do,” Xena said. The strong emotion on Gabrielle’s face seemed above anything the Barren Fields could conjure up, she was almost certain this was real. That still didn’t explain how Xena was able to talk to Gabrielle now. “What happened? Alti killed me and - ”

“You were brought back to life,” Gabrielle explained. “That’s why you’re here now, with me.” 

If that was true, then they were both in danger given their current location. And Xena wasn’t in the position to be defending either one of them. She sat up quickly, “we have to get out of here.”

“Easy, Xena,” Gabrielle said, trying to force her back down. “You went through Hades and back. You can’t just bounce right up again like nothing happened.”

“I’m fine,” Xena said, glancing all around them. Her belongings were still around. But the grenades were gone. It wasn’t surprising they would want to eliminate something that posed such a threat. “You have to leave, Gabrielle. Alti and her followers could be anywhere.”

“It was days ago they attacked you,” Gabrielle said. “I think they’re long gone by now.”

_ Days? _How long had she been in Tartarus? Either way, if Alti thought she had killed Xena for good, she likely left to continue with whatever it was she had planned. 

“How did you bring me back?” Xena asked. 

“I’m not sure exactly what happened before I arrived, but I think Alti was the one who bested you,” Gabrielle said, a strong mixture of emotions crossing her face. Two of which Xena was sure were anger and guilt. “Ares told me back at the school, then he brought me back here and you were…” she shook her head, but Xena didn’t need to hear the rest of the sentence to understand. “Then...well you’ll never believe this next part. Ares brought me to The Fates and made a deal - “

“You went to The Fates?” Xena asked. “Gabrielle, what were you thinking?”

“I saw you lying there - ” Gabrielle shook her head. “I couldn’t let you go out like that, sacrificing yourself for a world that wouldn’t appreciate what you did. I knew you wouldn’t like the idea of me doing it, but it was the only option.”

“You should’ve left me that way,” Xena said sharply.

“I couldn’t.” Gabrielle looked away for a moment, clearly avoiding eye contact with Xena, who wasn’t planning on sparing her any of the anger she was feeling.

“The Fates are dangerous. You know that, Gabrielle.”

“I know but - well, Ares was the one who made the deal,” Gabrielle said, still staring off into the distance. “So you - you don’t have to worry.”

“_ Ares _ made the deal?”

Gabrielle nodded. It was a moment before she finally turned to face Xena again. “I knew you’d have a hard time wrapping your head around it.”

There was a long silence. Of all the people Xena expected to make a sacrifice for someone else, Ares was the farthest down on the list.

“What’d he get out of it?” Xena asked. Ares hadn’t made the deal out of the goodness of his heart, that was for sure.

“He thinks you’ll want to join his side, and this will give him the chance to convince you to do it,” Gabrielle said, a hint of amusement suddenly rising in her voice.

It was a relief. Ares was someone Xena could easily handle. It was chariots above most alternatives, especially ones that involved Gabrielle paying the price for whatever deal he had made. And, as angry as she was with Gabrielle, Xena had to admit she felt a flood of happiness being near her again. But...Gabrielle had done something reckless, and Xena couldn’t show the relief she felt and give her the wrong impression.

“We’ll have to be careful,” Xena said, returning to her emotionless facade. “Alti said she was planning on attacking you at the train station.”

“I already went to the train station,” Gabrielle said, suddenly confused. “If Alti was around, I never saw her.”

If Alti hadn’t attacked Gabrielle at the train station, maybe she wasn’t as worried about eliminating Gabrielle from the picture as Xena thought. _ Or maybe she decided the train station wasn’t a good place to plan an attack after all. _

“I think you should wait for morning to head back,” Xena said. Even though it wasn’t completely void of possible dangers, at Hogwarts Gabrielle would be safer than where they were now.

“I’ll get Junior ready and gather our things,” Gabrielle said. “It’ll be a few days before we reach Hogwarts, and I want you to rest.”

“You’ll have to go alone this time,” Xena said. She didn’t want to leave Gabrielle again, but exposing her to danger just because Xena wanted Gabrielle around wasn’t fair. 

“NO. I’m not leaving your side again,” Gabrielle said, angrier than Xena had ever seen her before. “It doesn’t matter how hard you try to convince me either, because I won’t go through that again.”

“Gabrielle, I’m not a good person to be around,” Xena said. “The sooner you rid yourself of me the better.”

“You are a good person,” Gabrielle said forcefully. “I know it in my heart. And it doesn’t matter that you ended up in Tartarus, because you didn’t deserve to be there.”

The words caught Xena suddenly off guard. Gabrielle knew she had been sent to Tartarus and somehow, she still believed Xena had good inside of her. How was it that Gabrielle always found a way to forgive her?

“I did deserve it, Gabrielle,” Xena said. “All the bad I’ve done, I’ll never be able to atone for it. And I won’t drag you into sharing the same fate.”

Xena may have done so in past lifetimes, but she wasn’t doing it again.

“Tartarus doesn’t scare me,” Gabrielle said.

“It should.”

“It doesn’t. Xena, during these past few months you’ve become like family to me - “

“Gabrielle - “

“No, let me finish. I would gladly end up in Tartarus with you,” Gabrielle said. “That’s how much I care about what happens to you.”

“You have no idea what Tartarus is like,” Xena said. “It’s a place for souls to suffer, nothing more.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do,” Xena said. “And I won’t take that kind of chance.”

“I’ll be safer with you by my side,” Gabrielle argued. “Last time I died, you were there to save me. If you ever feel I’m putting my chances of an afterlife in the Elysian Fields in jeopardy, you can stop me. You can keep me on the right path.”

“How can I do that when I’m constantly straying from the path myself?” Xena asked.

“You can, I know you can - you just have to try,” Gabrielle said. “Besides - imagine if Alti strikes again. I’ll be no match for her on my own.”

Gabrielle was right, she was safer with Xena at Hogwarts by her side, and the look on Gabrielle’s face said she knew she’d hit exactly the right argument.

“You can protect me,” Gabrielle said. “I barely lasted a minute before I was on the ground when Alti’s followers attacked us. What I need is more training - training that involves more than defensive spells. Otherwise I won’t stand a chance.”

If Gabrielle died at Hogwarts because Xena decided not to return, Xena would never forgive herself. _ You always find a way to convince me to do things I don’t want to do, _Xena thought bitterly.

“Okay, but you do exactly as I say,” Xena said. “If you don’t, there won’t be a second chance.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle said. Xena was thankful to see that her anger seemed to be scaring Gabrielle, at least a little. The moment Xena went too soft was the moment Gabrielle would miss exactly what lesson Xena was trying to teach her.

“We’ll make camp here now,” Xena said. “If we head out early in the morning we should make decent headway. It’ll be a few days journey.”

It wasn’t long before Gabrielle had fallen asleep in her bedroll, but Xena lay awake. She knew she wouldn’t be welcoming much sleep, if any, that night. The thought of Gabrielle ending up in Tartarus rolled around in her mind. _ You would’ve been better off having never met me, _ Xena thought, angry with herself for allowing Gabrielle into her life all those months ago. If Xena had just ignored Gabrielle like she had originally intended, Alti never would have been a threat to her, and Gabrielle would be safe at Hogwarts now. And if Xena wasn’t successful at stopping Alti, it was possible she would never be safe again. _ I’m sorry, Gabrielle. You’ve made my life better than I could have ever hoped for, and I made yours worse. _

She glanced back over at her friend, who had rolled onto her stomach now, still sleeping as comfortable as could be. Gabrielle was the kindest and most innocent person Xena had ever met, and for some reason, she refused to give up hope that Xena was a good person. _ You deserve so much more than to be stuck in a life with me. _


	13. Chapter 13

Xena and Gabrielle received a less than warm welcome when they returned to Hogwarts a few days later. Headmaster Ma in particular expressed her disappointment the moment she saw them wandering the castle. She’d likely gotten her hopes up that neither one of them would return, and Gabrielle wondered why she wasn’t at least relieved to see that Xena was alive. As much as Ma was angry with Xena, she had been like a mother figure to Xena once before,  _ how could those feelings have disappeared completely? _ Once a mother, always a mother, that was what Hecuba always told her. 

Even more surprising to Gabrielle, was the lack of love Cyrene seemed to have for her daughter. She had raised Xena as a young child, and birthed her, yet she didn’t seem to care where she was at in her life now; otherwise she would have tried to contact Xena long ago, at least in Gabrielle’s opinion.

As much as Xena wouldn’t purposely express how much the actions of Cyrene and Ma bothered her, Gabrielle knew it weighed heavily on her mind, and she hoped they would let Xena back into their heart one day. So much so that Gabrielle had borrowed different owls in many of the towns they traveled to throughout the summer, whenever Xena wasn’t around to realize what she was doing, and sent letters to Cyrene expressing how much good Xena had done. Cyrene never responded to any of them, but Gabrielle liked to imagine that she was truly reading them, and that she, for whatever reason, felt too afraid to respond. It was wishful thinking, Gabrielle knew, but it was much better than the thought that Cyrene didn’t love her daughter anymore.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Gabrielle protested as she watched another one of her chess pieces being smashed to bits right before her eyes. Her mouth was agape as she realized Xena was yet again going to snatch the winning title. “By all the Gods - you’re cheating somehow. That has to be it.”

“You waited too long to move your knight.” Xena explained calmly. 

None of the students in the Great Hall challenged Xena anymore, as they knew it was a lost cause, and the fact that Gabrielle was more focused on getting food into her stomach than using any sort of strategy didn’t help. What was worse, Gabrielle continued to feel guilt over Lila’s feelings as she sat alone at the Ravenclaw table looking absolutely miserable. But despite all that, she did want to win some kind of a competition with Xena for the first time in her life.

“Well, when  _ should _ I be moving him?” Gabrielle asked, irritation clearly present in her voice.

“Every game is different. But getting your knights to the center early on is usually key,” Xena said. “You’ll have greater options for attack if you don’t rely only on rooks and bishops. Think of it like a real battle. Send out your strongest player first and you could lose them early on. Send out your weakest and they get the upper hand. But one of your soldiers who falls somewhere in the middle can be your greatest start to battle.”

During much of the summer Xena had favored playing chess over Gobstones. She believed it allowed for more intellectual training, which would come in handy when fighting off enemies. Gabrielle appreciated that she was learning more but - as much as she hated the smell of it - she much preferred to play Gobstones. At least then she had a chance of winning, even if she hadn’t won a game yet.

“Okay, B5 to C5,” Gabrielle said. As ordered, her rook on the B5 position moved forward. 

“Not bad.” Xena said. “But you’re leaving the queen more exposed by doing that. Next time consider moving a different rook.”

Gabrielle nodded and moved again. This time she eliminated one of Xena’s rooks.

_ Maybe I’m starting to improve after all, _ Gabrielle thought excitedly. At least she hadn’t completely bombed her last move, even if it probably didn’t qualify as the best move possible, at least by Xena’s standards. 

“H3 to I3. Checkmate.”

“Already?” Gabrielle asked, stunned as her queen was now poised to join the other fallen pieces. She glanced at the board, trying to figure out how that was possible, and how she had somehow missed that move coming.

“You’re getting better, Gabrielle,” Xena said, as she folded the chess board back together into what looked like a small box with a metal latch, which Gabrielle hooked back together. “Good job.”

“Yeah, well, at this rate - maybe I’ll beat you 60 years down the road,” Gabrielle said, once again feeling defeated. She glanced back at Lila, who was scowling into her soup. “I’d like to check on Lila. She’s always struggled with big changes and I can’t imagine how she’s feeling now. That’s assuming she’ll even talk to me, at this point I’m not so sure - but I have to try.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Gabrielle,” Xena said.

“I know it would be uncomfortable, and if you don’t feel up to it you certainly don’t have to but…” Gabrielle paused, not sure if she should ask the question. “Would you be willing to join me? I would love for you to meet Lila. I know you aren’t much for socializing - but she’s a big part of my life and - well I wouldn’t be angry for you if you wanted to wait...”

“I’d be honored to meet your sister, Gabrielle,” Xena said, affording a small smile. As much as Xena seemed to think she was no good at helping others feel better, she’d come a long way since the time they had first met. Even if she wasn’t as vocal as Gabrielle, or as outwardly emotional, Gabrielle knew Xena genuinely cared about her, and it meant more to Gabrielle than she would ever know. 

Soulmates aside, there was a deeper connection between them than destiny ever could create. It was difficult to understand fully, but it was there, and Gabrielle was truly grateful for it.

“Thanks, Xena,” Gabrielle said. “It may sound silly, but the fact that you’re willing to meet Lila means the world to me.”

“It’s no big deal,” Xena said.

“Well, it’s a big deal to me,” Gabrielle said. Then she continued in a more playful tone, “anyway, that’s enough mushiness for one day - I know you of all people don’t want to hear it.”

“You’d be right about that,” Xena said, raising an eyebrow. Gabrielle didn’t dare push her luck any further than that.

Once she finished the last bite of her sandwich they both made their way to the Ravenclaw table. Lila glanced over just long enough to shoot Gabrielle a dirty look before returning to the soup she was eating.

“Lila, you shouldn’t be sitting over here by yourself,” Gabrielle said. “Come join us over at the Gryffindor table. We’ve got a chess board, we could play some wizard’s chess - you always love it when I lose at things. Or maybe we could try doing some of our readings for class. Xena likes to read the daily prophet sometimes, so she wouldn’t mind if we - ”

“I’m perfectly fine right here,” Lila said at once. “I don’t need anybody else.”

“But Lila - I’m not going to just leave you here by yourself,” Gabrielle said, more forceful this time. “You can sit by us and say nothing if that’s what you really want, I don’t care, but you shouldn’t be alone. Besides, I thought maybe if you met Xena...well, maybe you would realize why she’s so important to me. And then it will all make sense, why I had to leave for so long.”

“You’re more than welcome to join us,” Xena added, which only made Lila frown more.

“By Hera, how many times do I have to say it, Gabrielle? I don’t want anything to do with you.” Gabrielle tensed at the words. “And I certainly don’t want anything to do with your friend. Now if you’ll both leave me alone.”

“But - “

Gabrielle felt a small tug on her arm.

“We can try again later,” Xena whispered just low enough so Lila wouldn’t hear, clearly sensing that Lila wasn’t going to change her mind anytime soon. 

“Okay,” Gabrielle whispered back. She turned back to Lila. “I know today this is your first week here and I wanted you to have something.” She reached into her cloak pocket and pulled out a new paintbrush. “It’s never too late to change your mind, Lila. I would love to spend more time with you, I always have.”

“That makes one of us,” Lila said coldly. Gabrielle half expected her to deny the gift as well, but she set it to the side and, without saying another word, went right back to shooting annoyed glances at her food as if her life depended on it. 

Gabrielle waited until they walked a fair distance away before saying. “I’m so sorry Xena, if she wasn’t so angry with me - I know she’d be over the moon to meet you - ”

“That’s alright, Gabrielle,” Xena said, appearing unaffected by the whole thing. “Lila’s been through a lot. But she really cares about you. She wouldn’t be angry you were gone for so long if she didn’t.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “I don’t know about that. But I suppose Lila mastered the art of holding a grudge long ago - when we were little there was a time she got so angry she didn’t talk for a month. I didn’t know if she ever would again. I suppose I’m in the same place I was back then.”

“It takes time,” Xena said. “She’ll come around.”

But how much time, that was the answer Gabrielle really wanted to know.

They both made their way back to where they had been sitting at the Gryffindor table, and as soon as they were seated, Xena asked the question Gabrielle knew was coming. “Did you bring that journal?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it right here,” Gabrielle said, reaching into her cloak pocket. 

On their trip back to Hogwarts, Gabrielle had explained the strange way in which she had received the journal, and clearly uneasy about the whole thing, Xena was insistent on looking it over. In fact, Gabrielle was surprised Xena hadn’t ask to look it over at the beginning of their lunch period by how worried she had seemed, but she figured Xena was giving her a chance to enjoy their time together before adding more stress to her life. 

Xena grabbed the journal from Gabrielle’s hand and ran her finger across the outer cover, examining the material with extreme concentration. Gabrielle wasn’t sure exactly what it was she was looking for, but it was a never ending spectacle to watch Xena when she was really focused in on something.

“Anything look out of the ordinary?” Gabrielle asked anxiously, watching Xena’s facial expressions to see if they betrayed what she was thinking. Of course, she was as stony as usual, which was no help to Gabrielle and her extreme curiosity.

“Not so far,” Xena said shortly. She held the journal to her nose. Then she opened the pages and searched each one. It seemed routine, and while Gabrielle had no idea what she was searching for, she had no doubt Xena was being as thorough as possible. 

Finally, after what seemed like moments later, she handed the journal back to Gabrielle.

“How does it look?” Gabrielle asked, unable to handle the suspense any longer. 

It would’ve been nice to have a spare journal to use when she ran out of pages in her other ones. In fact, she almost regretted having mentioned it to Xena in the first place, but she was trying to be more honest with her. The only major secret she had really kept from their talk on the way to Hogwarts was the deal she made with Ares, and that was one she knew there would be no coming back from the moment she told Xena about it.

“Looks okay,” Xena said. 

“Does that mean I can use it?” Gabrielle asked, sounding a little more impatient than she intended.

“I wouldn’t trust it.”

“I thought you said it looked okay,” Gabrielle said with a frown. 

“It does. But I’m not convinced someone didn’t plant this on you to get back at me,” Xena said. Gabrielle had to admit it was odd, they knew Gabrielle’s name yet she’d never met them before. Not to mention, they’d been specifically told to give the journal to Gabrielle. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, the circumstances were suspicious.

“But if it looked safe…” Gabrielle tried.

“Somebody wanted you to have this journal for a reason,” Xena said. “Unless you have reason to believe otherwise.”

“Well, no,” Gabrielle admitted. “But how dangerous can a bunch of papers glued together really be?”

“Not all spells can be detected. Somebody could have cast a hidden enchantment on it without us knowing,” Xena said. When Gabrielle’s face fell with disappointment once again, she added, “you can hold onto it. But for now don’t write anything on the pages. And if you start feeling different in any way I need to know. Immediately. Sometimes hidden enchantments can change moods, make people sad or angry, or even sick. It’s important I know if that starts to happen.” 

The tone in Xena’s voice told Gabrielle she was going to stick to her ‘no second chances’ rule, and if Gabrielle even so much as thought about going against her wishes, that would be the end of it.

“Okay,” Gabrielle said, not willing to lose Xena again over something so trivial, as much as she wanted to use the journal for herself.

“That boy who gave it to you, is he around?” Xena asked.

Gabrielle nodded and pointed towards a group of Gryffindors at the other end of the table. The boy was still wearing the hat from the book shop and appeared deep in conversation with his friends, only he was the one doing most of the talking. He didn’t even glance Xena’s way as she marched over.

“Did you give this to my friend?” she asked, holding the journal up just enough for the boy to see it. Her voice sounded more like a threat than a question.

A sudden wave of fear seemed to settle over the group; but the boy quickly recovered and sat up taller, as if he was challenging Xena. Clearly he hadn’t heard about Xena’s reputation. Or he wanted to appear unfazed by the situation in front of his friends to impress them, he certainly seemed the type - but Gabrielle could hear a slight crack of fear in his voice.

“Yes. Indeed I did,” he said.

“Then I have a few questions to ask you,” Xena said. “Won’t take long.”

“Fine. But I’d like to finish my story first,” the boy said. “See, I was in the middle of telling them how I single handedly fought off a dragon and saved an entire village in the process. It was just getting good. There were scared village folk everywhere. It was chaos. Maybe you’d like to hear it too.”

“I don’t feel like waiting,” Xena said. 

“Well I do,” he said. “I’m Joxer the Brave, stronger than any wizard my age, possibly any age. I don’t take orders from anyone.”

“If you're as brave as you say we can prove it right here,” Xena said, a hint of amusement in her voice. Gabrielle was surprised he was acting so confident. It was clear he wasn’t as strong as he said he was, and even if he was, his clumsiness would’ve made him an easy win for Xena.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Joxer said, though his face and body language seemed to suggest otherwise.

“This shouldn’t take long then,” Xena said. 

“Xena, go easy,” Gabrielle said, not able to stand silently while they argued anymore. “We don’t know if he had any bad intentions when he gave it to me.”

“Well, then here’s his chance to show us,” Xena said. It was clear she knew he was bluffing, and the others at the table seemed to sense it too.

“That won’t be necessary,” Joxer said, though he stood up as if he’d just been awarded a giant medal and began making his way over. “Sorry boys, the rest’ll have to wait. But don’t worry, I’ll be back soon to finish, and you won’t be disappointed.” 

Seconds later, the group of students who had been listening to Joxer’s story started a new conversation. Joxer looked disappointed that they weren’t as desperate to hear the end of his story as he had hoped.

“Who gave you the order to give this to my friend?” Xena asked, holding the journal so close to his face, Gabrielle was surprised she didn’t hear a smacking noise.

“Like I told her - I don’t know who she was. All I know is she had blonde hair and brown eyes...and between you and me, she was a real beauty.” 

Xena appeared to tense up at the description. It was so vague, Gabrielle wondered how she could have possibly known who it was with that amount of details. 

“You’re sure she had brown eyes?” Xena asked.

“Attractive people like us, we always remember another pretty face. They don’t call me Joxer the Dangerously Handsome for nothing. Or Joxer the Charmer, or Joxer the Mighty...I have many names - you’d be surprised by just how popular I am among the ladies.”

Gabrielle wondered how somebody could be so pompous. She’d never met somebody so full of himself in her life, especially someone who was also the clumsier than a child and clearly exaggerating his feats of bravery.

“And she asked specifically for Gabrielle?” Xena asked.

“Yeah, pointed her out and everything...” Joxer said. “Said I needed to be sure the right person got it - then she gave me a very  _ colorful  _ threat if I didn’t follow through.” He swallowed uncomfortably, as if he were back in the moment, but Gabrielle was more interested in another part of the story as she exchanged glances with Xena.

“Did she tell you _ why _ she wanted me to have it?” Gabrielle asked.

“No - just that it had to be you,” Joxer said with a dramatic shrug. “Anyway, can I go now? My fellas over there are waiting for me.”

“Is there anything else you remember about her appearance?” Xena asked. “Was she wearing anything unusual?”

“Yeah - well, I think she had on a pair of Hufflepuff robes,” he said, staring off into the distance. “But I can’t remember. Her face was so distractingly beautiful, she could make a grown man bow to her every whim,” his eyes wandered again, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“What else?” Xena asked forcefully, snapping him back to reality.

“I told you everything,” Joxer said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me - “

Xena grabbed him by the collar of his robe and stared him down. The ice in her voice was more chilling than Gabrielle expected. Even Joxer was nervous now. “That’s not all, is it?  _ What else _ ?” 

“Xena - “

“Okay - okay. There was one more thing, but it’s probably not important,” he squealed. This time he was terrified. 

“What was it?” Xena asked, shaking him more violently than Gabrielle thought was necessary.

“Xena - he’s not a threat!” Gabrielle said.

Xena released her grip on his collar gently, but the look of irritation remained. “I don’t care how important you think it is.”

“Oh alright, alright! She - she said her sister would want Gabrielle to have it,” Joxer said. Gabrielle glanced at Xena again, who looked even more bothered than she had before. 

“And that’s all you know?” Gabrielle asked, with added softness to her voice.

“Yes,” he said. “Your friend’s a real jerk, ya know. Easy on the eyes, but a real jerk.”

Then, Joxer scampered off quickly, tugging at the collar of his cloak as if Xena were still holding onto it. Xena was silent.

“I really wish you would go a little easier when using those interrogation techniques,” Gabrielle complained.

“It’s the only way to get the information you need,” Xena said. “Otherwise he could leave out important details. It’s not ideal but it works.”

_ Surely, there are other ways to do it,  _ Gabrielle thought bitterly, but she was thankful that Xena had stopped using her more dangerous method of getting answers. At least this posed no threat of anyone dying. Maybe it had even knocked Joxer’s arrogance down a few pegs.

“Do you know who it might be - the girl who gave me the journal?” Gabrielle asked.

Xena waited a moment, as if deciding whether to tell Gabrielle. “I can’t be sure.”

“But you think you know?” Gabrielle asked.

Xena hesitated again. “Yes.”

Gabrielle desperately wanted to know who it was, and why Xena was so worried that it might be them. But judging by the look on Xena’s face it wasn’t something she wanted to share with Gabrielle, and she cared enough about Xena’s feelings not to make her feel like she had to. “If it is who you think it is, should we be worried? Is she as dangerous as Alti?”

“When I knew her she was a competent witch, but she would’ve been no match for me,” Xena said. “The need for vengeance changes a person. I can’t be sure what we’d be up against. For now, we’ll keep on the lookout. And we’ll play it safe. It may not be her. But if it is, we won’t make the same mistakes we made with Alti.”

Gabrielle was sure Xena was mostly hinting at Gabrielle’s reckless actions, not her own. “I won’t do anything dangerous without your say so. I promise.”

“Good,” Xena said. 

_ So much for a peaceful year at Hogwarts,  _ Gabrielle thought at once. She hoped above all else that if this girl was anything like Alti, they could stop her before she became too powerful. One nearly invincible witch was more than enough for Xena and Gabrielle to handle without adding another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize for taking so long to post another chapter, things got pretty busy for me. I'll try my best to get the next chapter in within a week.
> 
> References  
https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-is-the-knight-in-chess  
I really don't know a lot about chess, so I had to look up some information


	14. Chapter 14

Before their next class began, Xena created a strict plan for Gabrielle to follow. She was to meet with Xena immediately after class was finished and stick by a group of students until Xena was close enough to reach Gabrielle if something happened. Based on Joxer’s description, Xena was almost certain she knew who it was, and even if her suspicions were wrong she wasn’t willing to take chances with Gabrielle’s life.

“How do you feel - about the whole Toris thing?” Gabrielle asked as Xena walked her to Charms class.

“Means nothing to me,” Xena said. She wouldn’t let it mean anything. Toris didn’t want Xena in his life and she couldn’t change that fact. There was no sense dwelling on something that Xena couldn’t control, especially when she had bigger things to focus on. The moment she let herself fully wallow in her feelings about all she had lost, she might not be able to pull herself back out again.

Gabrielle knew better than to continue on the subject, though her voice remained serious as she asked, “when should we begin training?”

“I thought tomorrow would be best,” Xena said. “Give ourselves a chance to settle in. But after that we need to fill most of our free time with it. There’s no telling how strong our new enemy is. And Alti’s still out there somewhere.”

Gabrielle nodded. Xena suspected she was just happy to have the chance to train, especially when they both knew Xena wanted more than anything for Gabrielle to be free of the dangers requiring it. 

They made their way into the room and Xena glanced around. The only blonde Hufflepuffs in the classroom were Aphrodite and another girl she didn’t recognize. Likely a first year. Xena had been keeping a close eye on all of the Hufflepuffs in each year to see if any of them matched the description Joxer had given them, and she told Gabrielle to do the same. The sooner they knew what they were up against the better.

“Don’t trust anyone. No matter who it is,” Xena whispered. She waited until she was sure Gabrielle understood before leaving. Gabrielle was someone who gave just about anyone the benefit of the doubt, regardless of whatever everyone else saw in them. It was the reason Gabrielle still believed there was good in Xena, even if she wasn’t sure herself, and the reason Xena hadn’t given up on becoming the person she wanted to be. But with the situation they were in, Gabrielle’s willingness to trust so easily could be exactly what got her into danger.

Xena made her way to Potions class and headed to the cauldron she normally stood by at the other end of the room. Fortunately, it was far enough away from Toris for her to ignore his presence. She’d crossed paths with Toris in the castle before, but each time they spotted one another they avoided making eye contact, and a word was never spoken between them. It was more uncomfortable than Xena liked to admit, but she focused her mind on what type of training would be best for Gabrielle to start the next day with. 

Her concentration didn’t last long as a familiar presence suddenly approached Xena. Ares had the biggest smirk on his face and it was clear by the amount of hair gel he had used, which made the curls of his long brown hair look even more meticulously styled than they normally did, he was trying to impress Xena.

“So, I’m assuming you’ve heard all about my romantic gesture,” Ares said. He was so standing so close to Xena, she could smell the extra perfume he had doused himself in. Xena held her breath as his face got within inches of hers, but she waited a moment before pushing him away. 

“Is that what it was?” Xena asked, enjoying the slight irritation that crossed his face.

“Don’t play coy,” Ares said, practically stomping his foot in protest. “I saved your life. Don’t you think that earns me more than that?”

“It earns you a thank you,” Xena said. “That’s it.”

Toris finally tore himself from the desk he was sitting at and made his way to the front of the room. As he scanned the room he stopped before reaching Xena, clearly trying to pretend she wasn’t there amongst the other students.

“Today, we are going over the most commonly used, yet overlooked potions. Most 5th years are taught potions that have no relevance in the real world. I don’t believe that is beneficial, so I talked with Headmaster Ma. She believes incorporating potions that are more pertinent to your lives as future wizards would be better as well,” Toris said. 

Ares inched his way back towards Xena. “Well, wouldn’t be fun if you gave in that easily. But seriously, how long before you ditch the blonde?”

“Not happening,” Xena said. “If you want me, you’re stuck with us both.”

“Fine. I’ll allow it,” Ares said. “Hades, maybe it’ll even spice things up a bit. She can be a third wheel while you and I make sweet, sweet - “

“Enough!” Toris yelled, stopping him just before Xena was about to. His eyes were finally on Xena and Ares, but it looked more like he was yelling at a pair of naughty children than his nearly adult sister. “There will be no talking while I instruct the class.”

Ares closed his eyes but didn’t say anything as the lesson continued on. Toris taught them all about a series of potions Xena had learned about long ago, when she lived with Lao Ma.

Once Toris had finished with his lesson, Xena rushed to file out with the other students. She was meeting up with Gabrielle outside of Charms class and she knew the longer she waited the more likely Gabrielle was going to be alone rather than with a group of students. As Xena was nearly to the doorway a voice stopped her from walking through.

“What are you doing with that poor girl?” 

Xena turned around to see her brother, though she’d already known it was him by the sound of his voice. He was staring at her sternly, as if he were giving her a lecture. 

“What girl?” Xena asked.

“The one you’re always spending time with,” Toris said. “She’s gonna end up just like Lyceus and you're letting it happen. Like a fool.”

Xena hadn’t expected any conversation from Toris and the words felt like daggers.

“No she won’t,” Xena said, forcefully. “Why do you care, Toris? You’ve wanted nothing to do with me for years.”

“And I still don’t. But you and I both know this is the same path you walked with Lyceus. I’d hate to see another innocent person get hurt because you can’t make proper decisions,” Toris said. “I’m not the kind of person who can sit back when others need help. Something that clearly doesn’t bother you.”

Xena knew he was referring to her decision to leave Toris and Cyrene when they were younger. 

“I won’t let anything happen to her,” Xena said. “With Lyceus I didn’t know how to fight. Now I do. I’ll keep us both safe.”

“You may be stronger than you were, but it only takes one mistake, one misstep, and that’s the end of it,” Toris said. “You of all people should know that.”

“That won’t happen,” Xena said angrily.

Toris slammed his fist on the table. “I can’t believe you would let your pride get in the way again. You haven’t changed Xena. You never will.”

“This has nothing to do with pride,” Xena said, her voice rising as well. “She isn’t safe without me. There are people from my past who want to hurt me. They already know how much Gabrielle means to me. I wish I’d never dragged her into this.” 

Toris shook his head in disbelief.

“It haunts me every day that she’s a target,” Xena continued. “But there’s nothing I can do.”

“And you think you can protect her from that? Xena, the best thing you can do is let her go. Leave Hogwarts and never look back,” Toris said. “She’ll be safer behind these walls than anywhere else in the world.”

“I can’t leave Gabrielle,” Xena said. 

“Then tell me this. If you could go back to the day our brother died, would you do anything differently?” His icy blue eyes bore into Xena’s, the anger and hatred clearly still present.

“Of course I would,” Xena said.

“Then get your head out of the sand and stop pretending to yourself that this won’t end in tragedy,” Toris said. “It ruined mother’s life and my own when you got Lyceus killed. Even more so when you left us like we meant nothing - “

“That’s not why I left,” Xena said. “Toris, I loved you both more than anything in the world But I couldn’t stand being in the house anymore. I couldn’t stand mom’s disappointed looks. The unbearable pain she went through every day. Because of me. I was doing you both a favor.”

“No you weren’t,” Toris said. “You were taking the easy way out.”

Xena was silent. This time she was too stunned to speak.

“The decision is yours, obviously. But I would think long and hard about how you want your friend’s future to end.” He stood taller, as if he were returning to the role as Xena’s professor. “Now, that is all I wished to discuss. You are excused.”

Xena still couldn’t believe the conversation she had with Toris. Worse still, she couldn’t stop the new thought that had grown stronger in her head.Toris was just as arrogant and stubborn about his beliefs as Xena was, but that didn’t make him any more likely to be wrong.

“Hey Xena,” Gabrielle said, once she spotted her outside of Charms class. She was standing near a group of girls, just like Xena had asked, and it looked like she’d struck up a conversation with them before Xena arrived. 

Xena found herself suddenly caught with the same feelings she’d had before. It would have been easy for Gabrielle to adjust to a life without Xena, because Gabrielle had never needed Xena in her life, it was the other way around.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Fine,” Xena said. Whatever small amount of emotion she’d displayed on her face, it was gone now. 

“Good. I know that couldn’t have been easy, seeing Toris like that - “

“I’m fine,” Xena repeated, hinting that was the end of her willingness to discuss it. Xena was thankful that Gabrielle seemed to take the hint immediately.

Toris was right about one thing, if Xena wasn’t careful Gabrielle would be headed down the same path Lyceus was. Her biggest error in judgement being that she had allowed Lyceus to make the decisions on what was safe, when Xena was the one who knew better. She wouldn’t make the same mistakes this time. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to hold that journal anymore,” Xena said.

“But I thought you said it would be okay - as long as I didn’t write in it,” Gabrielle said, a look of confusion crossing her face. “And I won’t. I promise I won’t.”

“I can’t trust your promises. Not right now,” Xena said harshly. 

“I know I haven’t been the best listener - “

“Your heart is in the right place, Gabrielle,” Xena said. “But we both know what happened with Alti’s followers wasn’t an isolated occurrence. You researched the Taelamon Ruby when I told you not to. Then Marcus and Professor Booksnatcher ended up dead. If it wasn’t for the ruby you would have too.”

“I never meant for those things to happen - “ Gabrielle said, horrified by the sudden accusations.

“I know,” Xena said, placing her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders, only this time the invisibility cloak wasn’t there to stand in the way of the look of shock in Gabrielle’s eyes. “But we need to be smart. We can’t allow room for error. It’s going to be tough, but there’s no other way. Which means you have to - ” 

“Do exactly as you say,” Gabrielle said. “Or that’s it…”

“This isn’t a joke, Gabrielle,” Xena said.

“I know. I didn’t mean it as one.” Gabrielle held the journal out for Xena to grab. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation or doubt in her voice, and it was the first time Xena felt she truly trusted her word. 

“I just don’t want you to forget how easy it is for things to turn sideways,” Xena said. “If we let our guard down, even for a second, our enemies get the upper hand.”

“How could I ever forget what happened to Marcus and Professor Booksnatcher? That was the worst thing I’ve ever done,” Gabrielle said, it was clear she was hurt and angry, but she also looked scared. Scared enough to listen to Xena.  _ I’m sorry Gabrielle, but this is the way it’s got to be.  _ Xena could only hope that one day Gabrielle wouldn’t be forced to feel this way, but it was better than Gabrielle ending up like her brother.

“You aren’t responsible for their deaths, Gabrielle, Alti is. But that doesn’t mean we couldn’t have stopped it from happening. It was just as much my mistake as it was yours. I pushed you away when we could have worked together to stop her,” Xena said. “I know this is difficult. But if we want to prevent something like that from happening again we have to keep those memories in the forefront of our minds. Fear doesn’t make you weak. Not when it’s used in the right way.”

Lao Ma had always told Xena that strength came from understanding the situation entirely, with every bit of good and bad that existed. No facts could be ignored.

“We’d better get going before we’re late to our next class,” Gabrielle said. Xena could tell the hurt feelings were still there, but she seemed to understand the importance of what Xena was saying. It was enough to give Xena hope. They could keep the situation under control, and that meant she could keep Gabrielle safe; or she would die trying. There was no other possibility Xena would accept.


	15. Chapter 15

As a second year, Gabrielle was finally given the choice of whether to continue flying lessons or take a different class as an alternative. It was one of the only things that seemed to be going right this term, and she would take what she could get at this point.

“It could be useful. I think you oughta give it another shot,” Xena said, after Gabrielle had brought it up for what was likely the tenth time. There was a hint of humor in Xena’s voice, and Gabrielle knew she was only trying to tease her.

“I’ll join flying lessons when you join drama club, Xena,” Gabrielle’s voice was filled with irritation despite knowing Xena wasn’t being serious, which only seemed to amuse Xena more. Before she could say anything more, Hagrid came bursting down the hallway with a disturbed look on his face.

“Hagrid, is something wrong?” Gabrielle asked. He was probably the sweetest person she knew, and she hated to see him upset.

“One ‘a my graphorns ran off,” Hagrid explained, his breathing still heavy as he caught his breath. “‘S like he din’t want nothin’ ter do with me.”

“I’m sure that’s not the reason,” Gabrielle said. “Maybe he’ll be back. Maybe he got lost in the woods somewhere, it’s an awfully large stretch of land...”

“I ‘ighly doubt that,” he said sourly, but when he spoke again his voice was much lighter, as if he felt bad for being so grumpy, “Anyways, ain’t nothin’ I can do ‘bout it now. But I do need to tell ya, Ma wants ter see ya in ‘er office, Gabrielle.”

“She wants to see me?” Gabrielle asked. She glanced back at Xena, who also appeared surprised at the request. 

“I’ll wait here,” Xena said, once they had reached the entrance.

Gabrielle nodded and made her way to the golden staircase. It was an interesting set-up, with the stairs spiraling upwards once the correct password was spoken and a large bird statue hanging in the center; as if it were keeping out any unwanted guests from entering. It was enough to give Gabrielle pause before walking inside. 

As Gabrielle entered the room, she took in the surroundings immediately; it was her first visit to the headmaster’s office and she’d been curious about what it might look like. She’d heard rumors about how big the room was, but she hadn’t expected it to be_ this _ big.

Headmaster Ma sat at her desk, staring down at a large scroll of paper. She had a large pointed hat placed firmly on her head. She never walked around without it, and Gabrielle felt it added to the air of importance that always surrounded her.

“Hello, Gabrielle,” Headmaster Ma said, her voice calm and welcoming as she finally looked up from the paper she was reading. She rolled it up and shoved it into one of the nearby drawers. “Please, have a seat.”

Gabrielle slowly made her way to the empty chair and sat silently for a moment. Headmaster Ma didn’t sound the least bit angry, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t. Maybe arriving late to Hogwarts was something she frowned upon, and Gabrielle couldn’t think of any other reasons for being called to the office.

“I’m sure you are wondering why I’ve called you down here.”

“Have I done something wrong, Headmaster?” Gabrielle asked, keeping her voice as polite as possible.

“No. You haven’t. But there is a sensitive matter I would like to discuss with you.”

_ Sensitive matter?_ That sounded like a lot more than something akin to a week worth of detentions.

The screech of another drawer opening broke Gabrielle from her now rampant thoughts. She watched as Headmaster Ma lifted a pile of sealed letters from inside the desk and placed them on top. The first pile was followed by several more, until almost the entire desk was filled with envelopes.

“These are letters from the parents of students,” Headmaster Ma said, motioning her hand to the messy stacks that were now close to toppling over. “Each one of them is a variation of the same concern.”

“I don’t understand,” Gabrielle said, trying to figure out how the letters might pertain to her.

“Ultimately, these parents want me to expel Xena,” Headmaster Ma said. Gabrielle froze, it wasn’t what she’d been expecting at all. It was a thousand times worse. “They are scared - and I don’t blame them. This certainly isn’t the first time this has happened, I received a few dozen complaints last year...but this year it was hundreds. It’s become a problem I can’t ignore any longer.”

“You can’t expel Xena,” Gabrielle said, the politeness in her voice now replaced with fear. “I understand why so many parents would be nervous, but she deserves a chance. She’s changed from the girl who was sent to Azkaban years ago - “

“Gabrielle, Gabrielle - nobody’s being expelled yet,” Headmaster Ma cut in quickly, clearly noticing the sudden panic. “Now it’s no secret that Xena and I have a less than favorable relationship, but, as much as I believe she is beyond reformation...her behavior in the past 2 years has made me question whether that is true, whether I was too harsh on her. It seems she wants to do better, but I can’t be sure how long that will last or what her true motivations are.” She paused, as if she needed a moment to collect herself. “I thought I knew her. But she’s unpredictable, and that places me in a hard position.”

“I understand why that would worry you, but I know in my heart that Xena can remain on the path of good,” Gabrielle’s voice was as passionate as she felt. “She wants it so badly, and it would help if more people believed in her too. I understand why you would doubt her after everything that’s happened. But she made a mistake - everybody makes mistakes in their life - “

“It was more than a mistake,” Headmaster Ma snapped, though she immediately calmed herself back down and continued, “I believe you are a good judge of character, Gabrielle, albeit a bit too trusting. Which is why I want your help. As much as it would solve most of my troubles if I did so, I won’t expel Xena unless I have reason to believe she’s returned to her old ways - or that she is simply too far gone.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle said, feeling some relief. “But where do I fit into all of this? How can I help?”

“I would like to entrust this responsibility to you,” Headmaster Ma said. “It will be left entirely on your say so whether I expel Xena. I hope my instincts are right this time and that you are able to make the best decision possible, because I do not feel qualified to do so. Do you understand what I am asking of you?”

“Yes,” Gabrielle said, shocked that Headmaster Ma would trust her with such a monumental decision. It was more than enough to set Gabrielle’s mind at ease; she knew she would never reach the point where she wanted Xena expelled, and now she could ensure that she wasn’t.

“I know you believe Xena can remain a good person,” Headmaster Ma said, “but that may change down the line - ”

“It won’t,” Gabrielle argued, though she was much calmer this time. Headmaster Ma gave a small smile, but Gabrielle could tell she was suddenly more nervous about her decision to trust Gabrielle than she had been seconds ago. “But I will take this responsibility seriously.”

“Yes, I hope you will remain objective about this, Gabrielle,” Headmaster Ma said. “I understand you have a soft spot for Xena. I did too. But this is about more than both of us. Imagine how it would feel if you sent your child to school with someone who posed a threat - “

“With all due respect, Headmaster Ma, Xena is not the loose cannon you believe she is,” Gabrielle said. “She’s human, and I don’t think you are being fair to her. She killed the men who killed her brother after years of thinking it over, she didn’t react on an in-the-moment bout of anger.”

“Is that really any better? Xena had time to reconsider, but in the end she went through with a despicable act,” Headmaster Ma said, “and that isn’t the only person who has died because of her.”

“Lyceus didn’t die because of Xena,” Gabrielle said, her voice regaining some edge. “Even you should be able to see that - “

“I wasn’t talking about Lyceus,” Headmaster Ma said. “I don’t blame you for thinking so highly of Xena. If she really is the kind of person you think she is, the person I thought she was...” Headmaster Ma smiled, “I am so very thankful that she has you in her life, Gabrielle. And I believe you are the only chance she has of ever becoming the person you believe she can be. But if you are not enough to help her reach that place, then she’s dangerous. We both know how capable Xena is. If something snapped inside her, she could cause a lot of damage. Don’t lose sight of that, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle sat silently for a moment. Headmaster Ma was right, if Xena wanted to hurt just about anyone in the world, save for Alti, she was powerful enough to do it. Logically, any parent would worry for their child’s safety, and if Gabrielle wasn’t right about Xena, she was putting others in danger by insisting that Headmaster Ma not expel Xena. 

But she was right about Xena, she had to be. Gabrielle knew in her heart she wasn’t the horrible person Headmaster Ma feared she was. 

“Just promise me if you ever start to doubt Xena, you will alert me immediately,” Headmaster Ma said. “I know you care for her, but don’t allow those feelings to cloud your judgment.”

The words seemed to echo in Gabrielle’s mind for a moment, and it wasn’t until she spotted Xena by the exit that her sudden uncertainty about Xena seemed to melt away.

“What did Ma want?” Xena asked.

There was a long pause as Gabrielle decided whether it was a good idea to tell her. If she did tell her, Xena might start to question herself - even more than she already did. But Gabrielle always had trouble lying, and Xena was sure to catch on. If that happened, Xena wasn’t going to give her a second chance this time.

“It was nothing really - ” Gabrielle started, but her voice was already shaky and - as she suspected - Xena seemed to know there was more to it. A lie just wasn’t going to work. 

“A lot of people are…” Gabrielle trailed off, trying to find the best way to explain the situation. “Well, they are unsure about allowing their children to attend Hogwarts when - when you are here as well. But it’s nothing to worry about because Headmaster Ma has no plans to expel you. Not right now. She’s waiting for me to tell her my opinion. And I already told her that isn’t going to change, that you don’t deserve to be expelled. These parents have nothing to worry about.”

Gabrielle was silent for a moment, trying to read Xena’s expression and praying to the Gods she hadn’t said the exact thing that would make Xena want to run off on her own.

“I have no plans to leave, Gabrielle. Not while Alti and another threat is out there.” Gabrielle felt as if she could finally breathe again. “But Headmaster Ma was right to trust you with that decision.”

“What do you mean?” Gabrielle asked. 

“If you ever start to doubt me - even for a second, Gabrielle. You must go to Headmaster Ma.”

It was a strange request, and one Gabrielle didn’t feel comfortable with. “It will never come down to that. Besides, you said yourself it isn’t a good idea to leave with everything that’s going on. How can you keep us both safe when we’re miles apart?”

“Headmaster Ma would protect you from Alti just as well as I could,” Xena admitted. “Maybe better.”

“Where would that leave you?” Gabrielle asked. “You already died once. If you go out there alone, the same thing could happen. Hades, it probably will, Xena. If you think I’m going to let you do something like that again, well then you - ”

Gabrielle stopped suddenly, remembering she wasn’t in any position to be talking back to Xena.

“I’ve done more damage than you’ll ever know, Gabrielle,” Xena said at once, her harsh voice startling Gabrielle despite the numerous times she’d heard it before. 

“I know about your past - “

“Not all of it.” Xena closed her eyes and stood silent for a moment. “Listen Gabrielle, there’s more darkness in this world than you know. When I told you not to trust anyone - that includes me.”

Whatever it was that Xena had neglected to tell Gabrielle, she was sure it wouldn’t be enough to change her mind about Xena. But she didn’t have a choice in the matter now, she had to take Xena’s words seriously, or at the very least Xena needed to believe she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So sorry it's taken so long for me to post a new chapter. Life has gotten a little busy for me, but I still definitely plan on continuing this series! Because I am starting up a new semester of college I can't be sure when the next chapter will be out. I hope to write some new chapters before this semester is over, so I will definitely try my best to do that. Thank you so much for the kudos/comments, that is so kind and I appreciate them all!
> 
> A/N2: I am going to post the number of chapters left in this story to give you all an idea of how much is left. This may change slightly if I add/remove any chapters, but it won't change by much if it does. Best wishes to all of you!

**Author's Note:**

> Update schedule: unfortunately I can’t make a consistent one right now, college is my number 1 priority so I have to base my writing time around my classes. I do have an outline written up for each chapter though and I know where the story will be going from start to finish.
> 
> A very special thanks to everyone who has read or shared encouragement so far! Not only has it helped me feel more inspired to continue the series, but it has also brought me joy and I am grateful to be continuing this experience with all of you.


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